Beautiful, unreachable fairytale.

Undisclosed Desires, Muse

2010-01-23T17:36:00.004+08:00

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart,

I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask,

I want to exorcise the demons in your past,

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

'cos our world is spinning at the speed of light.

2010-01-22T22:35:00.044+08:00

Isa, Zag (after much- and I mean much- of persuasion and after having to run after her) and I.

Usshao, Sanga and I.

I love this pic- Isa looks so happy and innocent. :)

Some of the class.

Ten!

Nad, Ruo Xi, Elizabeth, Hijanah and I.

Now, BOTH of us have curls! :D

Ruo Xi and I!

From most recent to least recent.

Quick sum up of the past roller coaster week:

Monday- Pulau Semakau.

It was so FUN and Ruo Xi and I CAMWHORED to the max mann. Hahah. Anyway the scenery cannot be uploaded because they said so. I haven't laughed this much with her for ages!

Tuesday-LDS and Chem Test

Endured Lopz's talks with duress, practically howled at Zahra's sight of the reforestation method. Talked to Zahra loads- Haven't talked to her this much for ages. :D

Wednesday-Math Remedial and Geog Test

Went home with Isa after waiting for her at the bubble tea shop. Talked trucks and dinosaurs as usual. :)

Thursday-Amath Tuition and Bio Test

Paige's birthday today! Went with Pei Hua after Geog Sup. Was so brain dead, I bet I couldn't even have added three to two. Pei Hua screamed at me in bus 10 because of something hilarious-

"HANISA! WALAU WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME?!! WALAU!!"

HAHAHAH.

Friday-Math Tuition and Social Studies Test

Went back home with Isa, who waited for me after her Netball. :D Today is also Ruo Xi's and Faizah's birthday!

Well there. Short sum up.

Stupid tests; the irony is that this week is not the CA week, week 5 is. Ugh.

I currently love the songs Undisclosed Desires by Muse, Animal by Kesha, In My Head by Jason Derulo, Blah Blah Blah by Kesha and 3oh3, and lastly Remember December by Demi Lovato.

Anyway I've been having four hours of sleep everyday and I'm turning more and more into a zombie as Pei Hua keeps telling me. So I'm going to sleep now.

Cya zzzzzzzzzz.

Omg, sixteen so fast?!

2010-01-22T20:32:00.003+08:00

Today is the 22nd of January. Like all the days of January and all the days of December, and all the days of March and July and August, and all the days of the other months like April and June and the other months that slipped my mind, today is someone's birthday.

HAPPY SIXTEENTH RUO XI!!!!

Hahah, love my intro man. You turned sixteen so fast, and I JUST turned fifteen. We're like a year apart. :0

Thank you so much for being such a great friend to me. You're one of my closest friends and I really treasure our friendship.

You're the person who has like the MOST similar taste to mine! In this area we can be like twins or something. Hahahah. I love how we're in the same wave length most of the time. :)

Okay, this is going to be short because I'm going to write more in my card, which I so owe you. Hahah.

But in a short summary, thank you so much for being there for me and for your trust in me.

PS: I so love this pic of you btw!

My feet are planted firmly on the ground.

2010-01-17T16:30:00.003+08:00

I wish life were as easy as it is in plays.

In Plays

Girl: I must confess...

Guy: What??

Girl: I think I'm in love with you.

Guy: I...I love you too!

Happy Ever After.

In Reality

Girl: Uh I must tell you something.

Guy: What? Please hurry; I'm rushing for tuition.

Girl: I like you. A whole lot.

Guy: Damn. I like someone else. I'm so sorry! And don't stalk me okay?

In Plays

Mother: We are getting a divorce.

Father: Yes, it is true.

Children: Noooooo!

(After a week)

Father: I realised how beautiful your mother's eyes are.

Mother: I realised how killer your father's smile is.

Father: So we're not getting a divorce.

Children: Yay!

Happy Ever After

In Reality

Parents: We're getting a divorce, no questions about that.

Children: Nooooo!

(They got a divorce)

So yeah. I wish life were as simple as that. I wish life were so simple that you can admit anything under the sun without the fear of unrequition. And I wish life were so simple that you could have anything you want. Like 100 marks for math without breaking a sweat.

Cya xxx

Tequila shots in the dark scene of the crime.

2010-01-16T14:46:00.010+08:00

Khai got into tennis! :D
I was screaming like a madwoman in the bubble tea shop. Met Isa, Khai, Clara, Akhyar and Melissa there after tutition yesterday, and went back home with Isa, Khai, and Melissa. Talked to Isa loads.

Besides that, nothing much happened I guess?
Mornings are spent with Khai, Usshao and Gwen with the occasional sightings of Shrubs and Poofy.

Spent the whole school day pinching myself painfully to keep awake (kudos to the stupid four hours of sleep I got a day for the whole week) and slept between lessons, when the teachers left and no teacher was in class. After one of the lessons, I was real deep in my sleep when I felt someone touching my eyelashes, and it was Rachel! She said that it was real long and was pinching it and telling me to go back to sleep so that she could see it. :)

And as for tuition, I got dismissed thirty minutes early for the first time ever, thanks to my ability of working out Standard Deviation fast. I'm so proud of myself! Hahahah.

Homework is piling up, and so is stress and depression, for every sec four here. To make things worse, beloved Lopz is going to book everyone who doesn't hand in homework on time. More than three quarters of my class (including myself) got booked because of that. What a pleasant start to the year. Btw, I love Zag's take on the deforestation, afforestation and reforestation. It got Isa and I laughing for the whole recess that day.
So yeah, besides all the stress, depression and homework, school is actually nice because of all my friends there.

Malay is no fun anymore because CIKGU ALENA CHANGED OUR SEATS AND ZAHRA AND I CAN'T SIT WITH EACH OTHER ANYMORE. !!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh. But I'm sitting with Izzah, so it's okay. :)

It was my father's birthday yesterday! We wanted to pretend to forget it and give him his card at night (he hates presents) but my mother was like, "Hey why have you not wished Bapa Happy Birthday?!" right in front of him!!! It SO spoiled the whole thing, LOL. We still haven't given him his cards. :S

Well, I better go now. Life is getting boring anyway, so yeah.

Cya xxx

PS: I like Animal by Keisha, Undisclosed Desires by Muse and Who I am by Nick Jonas and The Administration. Damned If I Do Ya by All Time Low still plays in my head like a nutter, and so does Somebody To Love by Leighton Meester and Robin Thicke.

PPS: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY HAIR?! Defining bimbo moment, lol, but seriously. I hate my current hair style.

"So quick bright things come to confusion."

2010-01-14T17:55:00.003+08:00

Today was a shitty day. As in, literally. I shan't elaborate; it was too gross.

Went home with Isa and Saiybah! :D

Haven't seen Saiybah for ages, so we caught up on stuff.

She's still exactly the same, which is great. :)

I'm exhausted.

And I've to do homework, truckloads of it.

And Amath and Math was so, so hard. I feel so demoralised but I'll work harder.

And Damned If I do Ya keeps playing in my head, on repeat.

Kay cya. xxx

the beginning of a fairytale.

2010-01-11T21:50:00.006+08:00

More like a fairynightmare.

I have decided.
Khai ditched me at the Payar Lebar bus stop today in the morning for that 135 bus Usshao and I always avoid (due to those despos who try to squeeze in) while I took 76 as per usual with Usshao.
Actually it was more like me ditching her because she begged me to take it. Hahah.
But getting to the point: Retribution came swiftly and I got slammed by the idiotic 76 bus doors today. My foot got trodden by the bus's ridiculously sturdy doors. Ouch.
So I decided that from now onwards I shall be a good girl and take whatever bus my darling (note the sarcasm) sister is taking. :P
I think she's going to take 135 everyday. :S

Hahah whatever. Today was a very eventful day.
We, the sec fours, observed our seniors getting back their O's.
Many people were sobbing.
I am SO going to work hard.

If I'm sobbing next year I would really prefer it to be a happy, ecstatic, delighted sobbing and not a heartbroken and gut-wrenching one. And if I'm screaming I want it to be a happy, ecstatic, delighted screaming and not a devastated one.

33-ed with Isa, Zag and Usshao for the first time since the school opened.
Laughed like mad and teased Zahra mercilessly, even though there was nothing concrete for us to tease her about.
Ate 'mixed' ice cream bought from that quaint ice cream cart across the 33 bus stop and got a severe stomach ache after that.
Learned something not surprising at all about Isa, and helped this poor sec one KC girl navigate through the MRT's complex system.

I really love the songs Hot mess by Cobra Starship, According To You by Orianthi, Love Me by Justin Bieber, Telephone by Lady Gaga and Somebody To Love by Leighton Meester and Robin Thicke.

Sigh.

Now, it's just me and my homework, my calculator and some nerd glasses.
How romantic.
Anyone care to join?

Cya xxxx

PS: My grandma's coming back tomorrow! :)
The house has seriously been dysfunctional without her.

nocturnal confusion.

2010-01-08T19:38:00.004+08:00

I might be lying, I might not,
If you really want to know, why don't you ask me?
Why are you so interested anyway?
You don't look like you care.

And you won't read this, because I don't think you blog.

What will it take to make or break this hint of love?

2010-01-05T18:32:00.004+08:00

I really love that song.

Yesterday was the first day.
As first days go, there was confusion, friends, excitement, boredom, fun, and slacking.
The principal gave her customary speech, two hours only. ._.
Having my sis there's fun too, 'cos of the fun we have before and after school. ;)
Mr Peh's our new FM!

Today was so fun and funnnny.
More excitement, confusion, orientation, class party (which involved drinking miranda mixed with cheese, chilli, pineapple bits from the pizza, and chips; total acidity, and Victoria shrieking everywhere, making our class laugh like mad), Mr Peh's stories about himself, chats and etcetera.

Okay, getting boring already.

Don't think I'll blog like ever.
Hope I can though. One day.

Cya xxx

2010, anyone?

2010-01-03T00:38:00.005+08:00

I shouldn't be pessimistic. I mean, I've always been optimistic so why am i so pessimistic this time?
2010 will be a good year.
I shall work hard for my O's and have lots of fun at the same time.
I will be happy.
At least I'm not shrieking 'I'm going to die!!' or 'The world is ending!'

Happy 2010 everyone.

Time has passed so fast.
I'm so sick of this cliche, but it is so true. So I shall deal with it.
Time passes so fast. I feel like I'm going to puke my guts out, like how people would after two hours on a rollercoaster followed by sky diving. Some people might even die of cardiac arrest after this. I'm an adrenaline junkie; there's no doubt that I'd love this if it happened in real life- but I'm using this metaphorically to describe how I'm feeling now about the fifth dimension of space or whatever. I don't think you get what I mean here, most people don't anyway, 'cos my opinions and emotions get tangled up in words and its rigid structure that doesn't allow the fluidity and subtleties thoughts, emotions and opinions possess. I don't think I'll reminisce now simply because I don't feel like it.

Moving on.

My resolutions are like everyone's.
I shall work hard, try to get great marks, try to be a good person, try not to get booked as many times as last year, try to get my homework done even if it feels like such a chore, stay myself and other stuff I won't put down in ink.

"See, if you paint wrong because that's the best you can do, you just a chump. But you do it because you want to? Then you're an artist."
-Unwind, Neal Shusterman

I want to be an artist.

I'm nervous-excited for day one of school. There's dread in the equation too, there always is. Can't wait to see Isa and Zag too, and can't wait to experience a twice in a lifetime opportunity of having my sis in my school.

I am so going to work on my math(s).

That's all I'm going to say for now. :)

Cya xxx.

Countless lovers under cover of the street.

2009-12-29T18:14:00.007+08:00

I love Jace. ♥

But, really, I fall in love as quickly as I fall out of it.

Anyway I don't really know whether I can be here or not but I'm taking a chance in typing here. 'Cos I haven't blogged for ages.

City Of Glass is like my favourite book now! Have I said that? Whatever; there's power to repetition and emphasis.

Okay so now I'm currently drowning in homework and school's next week. SOS, please someone help me.

My mood's been fluctuating lately, it's like a rubber band; pull and snap. Must be my period. Ugh, stupid cramps-they never fail to make my day.

I want to curl up under my blankets and drift off to sleep now.

Or maybe not, because technically, I don't curl up when I sleep. I find myself in a starfish position when I wake up, my face flat on my pillow. Face down. Laugh all you want. I find it amusing too.

A few days ago, I borrowed this stupid, pathetic book that was about man-eating unicorns. Yes. Man-eating. I read it before I went to sleep, and I had nightmares about man-eating unicorns. Like, hello?!!! Hahahah so stupid!

Brought Khai to TKGS yesterday to give the office her report card. After that we went shopping (: Bought a bag and my beloved City Of Glass book. Finished reading it when we got back home. Love it, and now I'm waiting for the fourth book to come out. It's coming out in freaking two years time man.

Think I'll go catch some shut eye now.

Oh yeah, before I go, Happy Belated Christmas to all Christians out there!

XXX

tuk tuks and white guys.

2009-12-23T20:29:00.034+08:00

BACK FROM PHUKET!

To everyone who wished me Happy Birthday, thank you so much!

And thanks so much to my bestest, bestest friends ever, Isa and Zahra (Zag) for the superawesomefantastic dedications! They really meant a lot to me, and I feel so touched. :) Though of course, I'm so not a bimbo (-glowers at Zag-). :P

On another note, KHAI'S GOING TO TKGS! I'm gonna have another bus/train/wherever I go whenever I like 'cos she has no other choice/airplane/ school /listening to music in the mornings buddy. I am so ecstatic!

Phuket was so awesome, it was spectacular.

I had so much fun. The trip was too short man.

The whole entire place was packed with Scandinavians trying to escape their country's icy whether. I'm so hotel-sick for Phuket that I'm actually missing all of them right now.

The second day was the most fun. I think I'll upload the pics on Facebook (some of them, not all). We went canoeing, and explored the caves and all that. I'm now so heavily sunburned.

I really miss the people from the excursion right now. Sighhh. Anyway, it was gorgeous.

I miss everything.

Anyway, this is going to be a short post (I hope) 'cos I want to retain all the memories inside my head.

But here's the excerpts:

- I'd just woken up in the morning and had gone to the balcony to savour the breeze and the birds' eye view and was about to stretch when I noticed that my downstairs neighbour, an old American guy, was right below me and was about to look up. Naturally I ran away in shock. (-.-) A few moments later, we (my sisters there) exchanged hellos and I went back in my room.

Later, Hidayah and I were sitting on the leather bed at the balcony when suddenly:

The guy: Hello!

Me: (Looks frantically around) Ohmygod, who's there?!!!

Hidayah: (whispers) It's that man lah!

Me: Oh. Hi!

The guy: (Looks a little taken aback) Yes, hello! You're all so beautiful.

All four of us: (stare blankly at him)

His wife later came in to say hi too.

- I was swimming in the beach with my family when:

Me: Ohmygod, it's my birthday today!

Everyone: (looks stunned) Oh yeah! We forgot!!

-.-

- While canoeing:

The man paddling my boat: How old are you?

Me: Fifteen.

TMPTB: Oh. (smiles)

Later:

TMPTB: (coughs and spits and coughs and spits and coughs and spits into the water)

He did that a gazillion times.

After that, he brought us deeper into the caves.

TMPTB: A good place to have honeymoons. (Stares at me)

(Khai and I exchange severely disturbed looks)

TMPTB coughs and spits again.

There's a million other stuff. Anyway, sorry for making you bored. Not really in a writing mood right now. I don't think I'll be able to blog again unless the blog ban is lifted by Bapa, so yeah, goodbye beloved blogger.

Bye!

XXX

PS:

My current favourite books ever:

-The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare

-Vampire Academy Series by Richelle Mead

I NEED TO READ THE CITY OF GLASS NOW, DAMMIT.

"Jace?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you know I had Shadowhunter blood? Was there some way you could tell?"

The elevator arrived with a final groan. Jace unlatched the gate and slid it open. The inside reminded Clary of a birdcage, all black metal and decorative bits of gilt. "I guessed," he said.

"You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."

He pressed a button in the wall and the elevator lurched into action with a vibrating groan that she felt all through the bones in her feet. "I was ninety percent sure."

"I see," Clary said.

There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. "What the hell was that for?"

"The other ten percent," she said , and they rode the rest of the way down the street in silence.

-City of Ashes, The Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clare

I love Jace.

my dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room.

2009-12-15T16:59:00.010+08:00

Hey everyone, I am so sorry if I don't reply your tags, or don't tag you etc, because my sisters and I have been banned from all internet communication/ socialising devices such as Facebook, Blogger, IM and etcetera.
Today was an exception, and I think there would be very few other exceptions.
I hope I'm able to blog after my birthday though (cos I'd be in Phuket during it), hahah.

Anyway, this is old but I love Saltwater Room by Owl City (Paige and Pei Hua recommended it) and Half Of My Heart by John Mayer and Taylor Swift.

Currently I LOVE Friends, Lovers, Or Nothing by John Mayer, Need You Now by Lady Antebellum, and especially Do You Remember by Jay Sean.

My grandma's in India right now and I miss her terribly.
I sleep in my grandma's room, so now, it would be empty at night if not for Khai who sleeps over everyday. It's so fun and sunny, having late night chats with her. :)

I guess I'll never know,

Why sparrows love the snow

We'll turn out all the lights and set the ballroom aglow

So tell me darling,

Do you wish we fall in love?

All the time, all the time.
xxx

fifteen wishes once upon a stormy night.

2009-12-15T16:15:00.009+08:00

Here's an awesomelysuperduper happy birthday to Isa.
HAPPY FIFTEENTH ISA!

Your birthday's on the 15th of Dec and today, you're fifteen.
Wow, I'd never realised that, hahah.

We've come so far already, huh? From people who don't know each other to people who don't really like each other, to people who dislike each other, to people who get to know each other to people who start liking each other to people who become best friends.

I know I've never really truly said this before, so here it goes: you're my best friend. :D Hahah, in case you didn't know, here's the time for you to go all awwwww.

Yeah, we haven't known each other for a long time. I got acquainted with you three years ago, but we truly got to know each other this year, which is sort of ironical, given the fact that we're in different classes and all that.

I found out that we're, like, THE polar opposites of each other. Yeah, some have wondered how both of us could click despite our differences, but to me, I think we are able to click because of our differences. Anyway, wouldn't it be boring if we shared identical characters and personalities? I think I'd be bored to death then.

Thanks for being there whenever I'm depressed about stuff (whether they're silly or not silly- silly like the ahem old bus stop nonsense) and not depressed, and putting up with all my nonsensical rambles about nothing pertaining to everything and everything pertaining to nothing.

Thanks for not nodding off to sleep while listening to me talk about things that don't really interest you, thanks for putting up with all my nonsense (for example, like how I randomly exclaim about stuff that no one really bothers about even though they should), my eccentricity and my sheer blurness, thanks for your trust in me, thanks for telling me stuff you normally wouldn't tell anyone, thanks for giving me your opinions, and sharing with me what your favourite things are.

Most importantly, thank you so much for you being you.

I will always be there for you like how you're always there for me too.

Whoa, long post already, hope you appreciate it man. Anyway all of this are mushy and puke-inducing, but it's all true to me, so I hope you like it. :)

And, I hope you would like the present I'm going to give you when school reopens. It's not a so-you present because it's almost impossible to find one that is so-you since your likes and dislikes are really erratic, but I hope you like it anyway, because its function's real great! Hahah.

So, have a happy, happy, superfranchalisticespialidocious birthday.

Love,

Hanisa

chapters.

2009-12-09T14:45:00.003+08:00

My grandma's off to India on Thursday and is going to stay there for a month.

I'm going to miss her. :'(

There's nothing much to say.

I'm feeling so bored that I'm depressed, and I'm feeling so tired for some reason.

Yesterday was another four hour tuition and there's no tuition this thursday and the whole of next week! Awwwesome.

Must read books that I'd read in the hols, not in any particular order (mostly fantasy):

Fragile Eternity by Melissa Marr (sequel to Wicked Lovely, third book of that series)

A Well Timed Enchantment by Vivian Vande Velde

White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

Forest Born by Shannon Hale (fourth book of the Bayern series)

Everlost by Neal Shusterman (author recommended by Regina)

Violet Wings by Victoria Hanley

Anatopsis by Chris Abouzeid

Dragon Spear by Jessica George (third book from Dragon Slippers)

There's a lot more, but I can't think of anything.

And, I found out that if you want to read something ABSOLUTELY romantic-free, try the Children's Section. Not all the books are unreadable there. Take the Doomspell Trilogy for instance. It's one of my favourite series and it's from there. :)

I'm so bored.

XXX

Last Friday.

2009-12-07T14:10:00.005+08:00

I AM FINALLY ONLINE.
I feel like hugging the comp right now. It's been five days, which is uh, 24 hours times five- you do the math.
Addicted much?

Don't mind me today; I drank too much hyper juice. Plus the fact that I'd been MIA's making me a little excitable. And bewarn: long post ahead.

I HAD SO MUCH FUN ON FRIDAY!
Last Friday that is.

Met Isa at Tampines (study date) and we went for lunch first. I love her new haircut! Hahah. Heard everything about her trip to Korea, and omg, I wanna go there. Sounded so fantastic, except for an issue, of course.

And, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PRESENTS ISA! :D
I simply loved them. It was love at first sight, seriously.
Anyway, I'm going to give you my proper present the next time we meet, which is next year?
You just have to love it. Note: Have to. The other option would be a love-hate relationship with the present, and who wants that?

We talked and talked during lunch (where I'd dropped all my coins on the floor and we'd to pick it up and the poor beginner cashier fumbled here and stammered there and made us all confused) and I told her stuff and she told me stuff, and etcetera.

And then, it was time to trudge to the library under an umbrella to study, and guess what?
We studied. Amath.
No distractions, nothing.
I feel so accomplished man!

There was this weirdo sitting down at the table beside us, laughing to himself real loudly. He then muttered out the whole paragraph of the book to himself and sniggered again. I found that hilarious; Isa found it disturbing.

Then we walked around the library and searched for books (mostly me, hahah). Isa borrowed three, and I borrowed double, not including the two Amber Brown books for Irfaanah. Thanks for walking everywhere around the library with me man. (:

After that, we still had so much time to kill, so we went to Tampines One and walked around, looking at stuff, going up and down and up (again) escalators. I really love the shop 'Click!' and I think that Uniqlo is really overrated. And there was this shop that sold quaint little naked musical boxes and I really loved it, though Isa called those musical boxes tacky. Hmph.
After that was Century Square, where we went to Montip to look at the button badges she loves, and after that was Tampines Mall.
So we mostly walked around and talked. And laughed. And laughed. You get the picture.

She had to rush after that so we didn't have time to camwhore.
:((((( , !!!!!!
Apparently, my despair wasn't mutual. Hmph.

So we were at the MRT station, and she'd rushed into the train when I found out that my father was at Tampines, so I met him, and my family joined us later. We had dinner at F.I.S.H where we met Mdm Lenny! She was with her husband and she'd slimmed down so much. I really miss her now. I think her last impression of me was looking wildly around, going, "Where? Where?" Hahah, embarrassing.

Uh, that's all.
So, the summary is that I had lotsa fun. :D

XXX

PS: I forgot to say that my father bought a dslr a couple of days ago. I'm ecstatic. :D

filmscrolls.

2009-12-03T20:53:00.005+08:00

I love the movies Forrest Gump and Some Kind Of Wonderful.

Rewind back to the oldie days.

Study date with Isa tomorrow. :)

Mengaji in the morning with a very grumpy Ustaza, followed by tuition all afternoon.

I'm beat.

I had this really nice dream today, about me and someone I'd never seen in my life before, but had seen in my dreams many times already.

It's about someone morphing into an older person.

It's about love, and magic and all that.

It was beautiful.

I think it's because of yesterday's movie, though there was no magic in that one.

XXX

rebound.

2009-12-02T18:05:00.008+08:00

I finally got my sunglasses!

Like, chyeaahhh.

And I got Isa's present.

After dragging my sisters across two shopping malls and wandering around shops, saying no to practically everything we looked at, from notebooks to large pens to tiny glitter snowglobes. Well, at least I got her a pink-less, love-less something.

I have no idea whether she'll like it or not though.

My feet are killing me. :O

On a side note, my birthday is coming, and I'm getting all depressed about it.

I'm getting older.

My parents are already talking about how I'm going to get married as if it's tomorrow.

I feel so old already, I just want to stay young and happy forever.

Um. Whatever.

XXX

of nothing and everything.

2009-12-02T11:39:00.013+08:00

I love the White Tiger by Aravind Adiga.

Or maybe I should adopt the Ah Lian vernacular and say, "I lubbb da White Tigelll."

Or maybe I should just say, "Oh," as it is a universal word that conveys so many expressions, feelings and opinions, and can mean so many things like how the word 'Nenek' can mean both 'a kindly old granny holding a tray of freshly baked cookies' and 'a frightening person who gives Hidayah's friend nightmares, who barges into people's houses and order people around, demanding five-star treatment'.

So, fine. I shall say 'Oh'.

Oh.

If you've reached the end of this short but nonsensical paragraph that I wrote because I felt bored, then I congratulate you.

Hahah, okay, whatever.

I love Cry Me Out by Pixie Lott. Her voice is so unique.

And I love Some Kind Of Wonderful by Michael Buble.

I got your emails

You just don't get females

Now, do you?

What's in my heart,

Is not in your head anyway

Mate you're too late and you weren't worth the wait now, were you?

It's out of my hands since you blew your last chance

When you played me

-Cry Me Out

Oh, and just that day I happened to be listening to some of the old songs in my playlist, and I realised that I'd never said, ever that Michael Buble's voice is one of my favourite voices to listen to, apart from John Mayer, Danny O' Donoghue and James Morrison.

I'm going to Phuket on the 19th of December (a day before my birthday!) and I'm not leaving until 22nd of December. I can't wait! Hahah.

Going to Tampines later.

I'm so sleepy for some reason.

Oh and btw, does anyone know what polarising filters are? Maybe I'll ask Regina.

XXX.

Stealing, of course is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances.

2009-11-30T19:44:00.003+08:00

Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.

-The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket

acting in real life situations can be kinda fun.

2009-11-26T17:07:00.010+08:00

Nenek (the one who isn't my grandma) is still terrorising our house. We have to enter and leave our house surreptitiously like fugitives and immediately lock our gates, making sure to look at the lift just in case she pops out of it.

I was rushing for tuition and wearing my shoes while pressing the lift button. When it arrived, I was horrified to find Nenek staring at me from inside the lift.

"Come in and help me press the eighth button!" She shouted at me.

My flight plan dissipated; she had seen me. So I entered the lift and braced myself.

"Okay," I said.

"Whose granddaughter are you?" She shouted.

"Uh...Hamidah," I said. Whoever Hamidah is.

"Who is Hamidah??" She shouted. I could hear a tinge of antagonism; she's not known as the Gossiper of the Block for nothing, and she was apparently mortified at not knowing who Hamidah is.

Shit.

"She's my grandma," I replied, looking as innocent and bewildered as possible.

"You're not Fathimah's granddaughter??!" She shouted.

Shit.

"Who is that?" I asked innocently. "Uh, Nenek, it's the eighth floor already. I think you should go or the doors will close."

"You are Fathimah's granddaughter!" She shouted.

"Huh? Who is that?" My heart was thumping real fast. I'd thought her rheumy eyes would have hindered her from recognising me. "It's your floor now, Nenek."

"You're Subir's daughter!!" She shouted yet again.

Shit.

"Huh? Who is that? I don't know what you're talking about!" It was hard to mantain my composure.

"Tenth floor!" She shouted and went out of the lift. "You look like Fathimah's granddaughter!"

And as quickly and shockingly as it started, it ended.

Phew. I practically fled the lift, and when I came back, I had to hide behind a wall from her. Oh well.

xxx.

PS: Note how many times she shouts in the whole convo.
And btw, the whole convo was in Malay

PPS: I LOVE the song Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore (Isa's fantastic reccomendation; she's back in Spore(: ), and Tik Tok by Keisha.

She lives in a fairy tale

Somewhere too far for us to find

Forgotten the taste and smell

Of the world that she's left behind

It's all about the exposure, the lens, I told her

The angels are all wrong now

She's ripping wings off butterflies

moving from suitably violent coughs to subtly hinting winks.

2009-11-25T12:45:00.009+08:00

A note for my sisters and I: Yesterday, wink.

Hahah.

And it was hilarious, the convo we had with J through IM.

Me: So lets create a code just in case __________ .
J: Okay, what about you say thunder and I say flash?
Me: Thunder
J: Flash
Me: Thunder!
J: Flash!
Me: Thunder!!
J: Flash!!
Me: Thunder!!!!
J: FLASH!! What's happening????
Me: -smiles innocently- just trying it out, you know, as a rehearsal.

And then, for the other code:

Me: Eh, eh, what's the code? Uh...cobra something... What is it again?
J: Desert cobra.
Me: Desert Cobra!!
J: Oh man, what do I do now??

Me: Nothing.

HAHAHAH, I'm so evil.

...or...

2009-11-23T19:23:00.002+08:00

or maybe i just need some fresh air.

planning never works. which is why... :x

2009-11-23T17:39:00.004+08:00

Yesterday revolved around my grandma's flying scarf.
Yep, it did.
Her freshly laundered scarf had literally flown away by the strong winds and we (Hidayah, Irfaanah, my maid, my uncle and I) had to go down to fetch it.
It was found hiding in the crown of the mango tree, so we had to bring a ladder and a bamboo pole and after like an hour of trying and giving up, our very kind neighbour taped his bamboo pole to ours and my uncle finally retrieved it, bedraggled and all.
It was no surprise that we attracted quite a few onlookers.

And so the day ended like that.

I've been in a really bad mood for like a few days and sometimes I really wish I have my own room so that I can have a few moments of privacy. No, I don't even need my own room. I just want privacy.
I just want some space.

xxx.

nothing much to say.

2009-11-21T12:58:00.003+08:00

Every minute's like an hour
Every hour's like a day
Every day lasts forever
But what else am i gonna do
I’d wait forever and a day for you
I wait up.
-Everybody In Love JLS

Fullhouse is the most adorable Korean drama ever.
Kim Sung Soo is so hot and Rain is so cute.
:D

the word 'irresistible' has become such a cliche.

2009-11-20T14:06:00.010+08:00

I am so sick of reading the same story line again and again.

For example:

Chapter One to Five:

Girl is a loser in high school who frowns at fun and flowers and prefers to emo all day and think cynical thoughts. She talks about how her life sucks and mopes about her school like a living death. She laments on how the world has become and bemoans her fate.

Chapter Six to Twelve:

Girl sits tragically innocent by some ice cream cart, thinking suicidal thoughts and shooting withering glares at happy children skipping around and eating ice cream when suddenly a guy two years older than her approaches her. KADABOOM! Love at first sight. She compares the guy's eyes to the therapeutic mud she uses to moisturise her face (bought from Bodyshop), and declares to herself that he is the most irresistible, handsome guy around ever.

Her friends drool over that guy and exclaim that he is the hottest, most irresistible guy ever. Girl simpers to herself.

Hot Guy confesses his undying love and devotion to her. Girl is happy.

Chapter Twelve to Twenty:

Girl becomes frighteningly less emo in the matter of hours. However ohmygod, what is this? In a few days time she discovers the shocking secret of her beloved Hot Guy.

He is, she discovers, a vampire/werewolf/zombie/faerie/golem/magician and she accepts him for who he is. Hot Guy apparently is a tortured soul.

The love of the Girl and Hot Guy grows stronger.

Here, the author persists to show physical aspects of the supposedly pure and true love like a casual brush of the Hot Guy's hands across her sleeve, or the casual brush of both parties' shirt sleeves against each other and etcetera.

Chapter Twenty to Twenty-six:

Girl finds out that there apparently is something wrong with Hot Guy. For example, he needs blood/life-force/tears/sunlight/darkness to thrive and he is not getting any. So she sacrifices her blood/life-force or pinches herself to shed tears for him; as a summary, she does something masochistic. She then decides to embark on a quest of some sorts (accompanied by Hot Guy of course, duh) to save him/his soul/both of them/their relationship.

Chapter Twenty-Seven to Thirty:

Eureka! Girl has gotten the magical cure. Girl and Hot Guy live happily ever after entwined in each other's arms. Conclusion: True Love.

Book Two:

Girl and Hot Guy Breaks Up.

The End.

It's always the same thing over and over again.

So does it mean that when I'm suddenly craving for a teen book, it has to be this?

I mean, years ago when I was twelve I was like spell-bounded by Twilight (not anymore) but then now, I realise that all the new authors are like mimicking her sort of writing, and it's becoming deathly boring.

Sheesh.

I wish some new author would put an end to this misery so that when I want to read some teen-fantasy-romance, I'll read something nice. Sighhh.

On a side note, I like the songs Everybody In Love by JLS and Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas. :)

xxx

studying with Zahra at Bedok Library today.

2009-11-18T18:31:00.016+08:00

Credits to Zag :)

She'd cut and thinned her hair!

Zag's smiling! ^^

This are the nicest of all the photos I'd taken from my phone.

We camwhored more with Zag's camera, so I'm gonna steal some. :)

Today was Malay with Zahra at the Bedok Library as the title implied.

Met her at the MRT station then we walked around and got lost. We then asked for directions, and then headed off that way. Hee.

We finally reached the air-conditioned library and then walked around all three floors to look for a conducive place to study. From the Reference Floor to the Children's floor. We went in and out of the Malay area three times before finally giving up and deciding that the Malay vibes would help us with the work.

It didn't really.

Okay, then it got booring. Studying can never be interesting man. And we had to whisper like idiots; the librarian shushed us when we talked in normal decibels. Anyway, we looked at the many practice papers in dismay and then attempted to finish them.

After about two hours we completely about a paper plus plus minus and then we decided to explore the psychology section (more for Zahra [:) and I got this really interesting and belief-changing book, but here I shan't tell you the title (Zahra knows, hahah) for many reasons.

And then we went to the fiction section, where I borrowed more books.

Poor Zahra couldn't 'cos of her beautiful-drop-dead-gorgeous Noddy fines. Hahahahah.

And she refused to let me borrow for her and was too lazy to go home to get her sister's card. We sat at the Children's section to read. It was quite comfortable; loads of sunlight plus air-con.

After ages, I was like starving so we went to Macs to eat after I borrowed all the books I wanted. Correction: Zahra did NOT plan to eat. Thus I had to use plan B and force her to eat. Hahah. We laughed and laughed and talked. So fun! :)

We then headed back to the library, where I returned all the books I'd borrowed less than an hour ago, and then borrowed more.

Then...We went home. After camwhoring of course. ;)

The camwhoring was the funnest part of the day!

I kept laughing and laughing, especially when Zag said, "Let's look emo now...look at the floor over there."

Hahahahah.

And so we went our separate ways again (so the drama) and it started raining. I love the rain, but I'd hoped for a storm.

Anyway that's all I have to rush off. In conclusion I'd a really FUN day! :D

Kay, bye, and Zag you better send me the pics!

xxxx.

PS: I didn't catch the meteor shower yesterday. Sighhh.

heartlocks.

2009-11-17T12:09:00.006+08:00

I love the after smell of rain,

and how the grass from the field of that school in front of my block glows,

and how the sky is so happily, beautifully maya blue.

I love how the tendrils of wind lap in and out of the windows in gentle cascades,

how those little puffs of clouds in the near empty sky are so woolly,

how fresh I feel when I wake up from my dream in the morning.

Enough of sentimentality; my neighbour, aka Nenek (she's not my grandma, but we address her so as a form of respect because she's over eighty-five years old), is banging our door again.

Her daily dramas are a source of never ending amusement for my sisters and I, however, it is quite the opposite for my grandma, who has to handle her nonsense more than twenty-two times a day.

We told Nenek that we had shifted out of the house I'm currently typing away in last week but she still refuses to cease walloping our poor front door down.

Oh well.

I am confused because I'm missing something but I'm not so sure what. It all derived from this dream I had today.

xxxxx.

this is gonna be short. scout's honour. wait- i've never been a scout before.

2009-11-16T15:45:00.006+08:00

Okay this is so going to be short because I have to rush off.

Correction: I will try to make it short.

I have been OFFLINE for three days. :0

On Saturday my family went to the movies to catch 2012.

It was really nice despite the ratings, and I kept crying. It was so sad-so many people died and etc. If this happens when I'm still alive I'm going to be so devastated. To see so many people die such horrible deaths; I think I'd rather die myself before seeing all these. I love the happy ending though. One can use a happy ending.

Yesterday was spent at my Po Po's house. (My maternal grandma; I've no idea how to spell that correctly) My Aunt Shirley (Can't spell aunt in Chinese again. Hahah, I better learn the basics man, for the sake of my roots) showed us the neighbor's empty house which was under renovation. We snuck in! It was so fun. (:

And then we went house hunting. There were so many adorable dogs. From Dalmations to Toy Poodles, from Retrievers to Sausage Dogs. I brought my sisters to the playground after that and started a monologue on misery. (The condition that I was suffering from was Boredom.)

My sisters were like roadkill. Hahahahah.

But I LOVED playing on the swings.

The lack of people my age was highly evident. The majority of people there were made up of people in their forties wearing sunglasses and frowning while driving, or parents holding their screaming toddlers by the hand. Or bespectacled, chubby thirteen year old boys hunched over their electronic devices. Take your pick.

My father had brought home his friend's DSLR and I was playing around with it. Oh, I want one.

MY UNCLE BOUGHT THE WHOLE SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS FOR MY SISTERS AND I. I am so happy; I'd always wanted the whole collection. It used to be one of my favourite series in primary school. And he bought other books too.

And today- I just came back from accompanying my grandma to the Dentist and Arab Street. I bought a book at Borders with my gift card called Dark Visions and I'm seriously hoping that it's nice.

I'm now dead tired, and we're leaving in less than thirty minutes for a religious gathering.

I want to have more time with my comp.

Oh my, I'm starting to sound like Zahra, or at least, how she used to sound like.

I miss Isa and Zag right now.

Isa's in Korea (hope she enjoys herself :] ), and Zahra's...at home.

Hahahah.

So, Zahraaaa I wanna go out!

And so you've come to the end of my short post. Can't believe you've made it.

xxxx.

you sing me to sleep, every night from the radio.

2009-11-13T12:48:00.008+08:00

Tuition with Pei Hua yesterday. :)

I arrived gorgeously early. -.-

I thought that it started at 2 when it was supposed to start at 3. So I hung around and finished reading my book.

And Pei Hua was late as usual, see the extremes? Hahah.

So I went up first and she came about twenty minutes later, carrying her pumpkin umbrella.

And both of us were ill!

Pei Hua was worse off. And both of us had blocked noses and I kept saying, "Sorry...bloked dose,"much to her amusement. And our sore throats were the power. But as I said, Pei Hua was seriously worse off man. She coughed and coughed throughout the whole three hours of tuition. Yeah, we finished at 6.

You know what?

I think I like Binomial Theorem.

-Insert a smile here-

I put it in small fonts so that nothing would happen to make me hate it instead. Me and my weird logic, I know.

After tuition, we talked and talked for a looong time.

I really got to know her a lot better. (:

I hope she feels better now, both emotionally and physically that is.

And she owes me a pumpkin-umbrella-free hug, hahah.

76-ed with her and then took the MRT back home.

359 was so crowded man.

When I reached home at 8, I experienced this bout of déjà vu, and it wasn't a nice bout of déjà vu.

My mum was in a whole lot more pain than usual.

I really wish I could help her but there's nothing I can do to ease the pain.

Anyway, she went to work today instead of resting at home. =.="

Isa called to cancel the study date!

She got grounded 'cos she broke her curfew yesterday when she went out studying with her friends. Sighhh.

Today's my paternal grandma's first attempt at cooking Chinese food. It was AWESOME. Sweet and sour fish. :)

It's going to rain now.

Poetry is like wind I think.

I love wind.

But I've said that before.

I'm feeling all nostalgic now, listening to old songs on my playlist. Like Mad by Neyo.

Omg, I miss that song.

I know sometimes it's gonna rain

But baby can we make up now 'cos I can't sleep through the pain

The thing about songs is that a memory or several memories; an era, a whole galaxy is tied to it. When you listen to them all those memories come flooding back and you're transported to yesterday just for that moment. All those bittersweet memories that you never intentionally keep.

I'll end off now so that I can watch my Full House.

Rain is so cute; I'd never like him before watching this ancient show.

And oh- speaking about Rain, it leads me to the subject of guys and where guys are concerned-newsflash!

I like Taylor Lautner.

No, NOT because he's acting in New Moon (I'm so antagonistic over the whole movie so not like book thing, and I'm so over the book ever since everyone started liking it). I started liking him watching the VMAs.

And did you know? He's going out with Taylor Swift who's one of my favourite singers, so it's like Taylor squared now.

So much for ending off, but really, I'll shut up now.

XXXX

pink mittens.

2009-11-11T19:49:00.011+08:00

ISN'T SHE ADORABLE?

Oh and I'm so in love with Full House now.

And Untouchable is still playing in my head.

It's such a beautiful song.

XXX

Last Day of LDS for this whole year.

2009-11-11T18:24:00.014+08:00

I love how the light reflects off Zag's face! :D

In the bus.

Both of us taking each other doing the same thing at the same time.

At the MRT station.

I look so, so weird here, but whatever, I like Zag's pose :)

I'll start with LDS.

We didn't win the debate. Sighhh.

And I really need to dig a hole yet again to bury my head in it- fine, either that or I'll just have to thicken my thin skin. Figuratively, duh. At least we got the same prize, a Borders gift card voucher.

After that, Zahra and I went to the library to return my books (and borrow some more). On our way there, she treated me to ice cream. Thanks man! :D

I'd LOADS of fun with her, laughing at practically everything.

"Hanisaaaa tell me a secret!!!"

"Zahraaaa tell me yours too!!!"

"I'm so bored!"

"I'm bored too!!"

And etcetera.

Hahahah.

Then when we reached the library, I quickly returned my books and borrowed more books.

Quickly. ;)

And I deserve to win a prize for BORROWING A MALAY BOOK. I am so going to improve my Malay this month.

Poor Zahra couldn't borrow any 'cos of her massive fines in the form of Noddy and whatnots. We checked, and it amounted to FORTY dollars. HAHAH.

Camwhored at the bus and MRT station after that. It was sosofun:)

Kept laughing at all the taking-picture moments and then declaring that each picture was the last picture.

And then while we were walking to the Bedok MRT Station ('cos we took 16) this girl a few years older than us who was holding a bunch of glitter pens approached us.

The girl: "Sorry miss, this would take less than five minutes, and you don't have to pay anything."

Zag and I: "Uh...okay."

The girl: "What do you feel about ex-convicts being given a chance to work again?"

Zag: "YEAH! I feel that they seriously should be given a chance."

Me: "Yeah, they should!"

The girl: "Then okay, this wouldn't take much of your time. See, my friends and I are from the Home and we need support to attend school...(talks and talks)... I'm not talking about a thirty dollar of fifty dollar donation...I'm just talking about a five to ten dollar donation."

-Zag and I exchange looks-

Zag: "Errr...Eh, I only have eight dollars..."

Me: "I seriously think I'm broke."

Zag: "Um sorry...I don't think we each have that much money."

The girl: "Why don't you both share?"

Zag and I: "Uh...okay."

Me: "Sorry wait ah...I can't find my wallet!"

-a few moments later-

Me: "I only have three dollars. Donate five together?"

Zag: "Okay."

-both of us gives three dollars (so it added to six dollars) to the frowning girl-

The girl: -unhappy tone- "Thank you so much for your contribution, and God Bless!"

-She hands us one glitter pen only-

So Zahra and I walked towards the MRT station, somehow feeling nonplussed, strangely uneasy and cheated. It did not feel as though we'd done something for charity; there was no happy, giving feeling.

"Is it my soul getting blacker or did we just get cheated?" I asked Zahra.

"I feel cheated too man," She replied.

"I thought she first said that we didn't need to pay for anything?" I mused.

"I thought she said that it would take less than five minutes?" Zahra mused too.

"Great, I'm broke now!"

"The twenty dollars my father gave me today all spent!"

We shook it off. I mean she might be genuine after all.

...Right?

Hahah.

When we reached the station, we camwhored again.

Then went our separate ways. (Hahah, so drama)

So all in all, today was a really FUN day! :D

XXXX

untouchable, like a distant diamond sky

2009-11-10T19:28:00.003+08:00

-Untouchable, Taylor Swift

I'm still feeling a little woozy.

Hahah.

LDS tomorrow, and I'm trying to do the debate script now.

Wish my group luck.

And go back to that beautiful dream of yours.

crayons and sisters on Saturday

2009-11-09T14:44:00.008+08:00

Khai's rainbow. ^^

Irfaanah, colouring a sky. :)

Me: Hidayah, are you copying me?

Hidayah: No! What makes you think so? -draws a brown snail where I drew mine-

Me: How original!

Hidayah: Thank you, thank you.

Khai: Oh, so where did your inspiration come from?

Hidayah: -smiles knowingly- Paris.

Me And Khai: Paris???

Hidayah: Yes. Paris. I am going to be inspired by England now.

HAHAHAH.

The quote that was stuck in my head for ages.

These pics are long overdue. :P

After a long time of drawing, Hidayah and my father started playing Wii Tennis.

Wii Tennis is a sure fire way of getting my father to spout off stuff he usually refrains to say, like: "WALAU!" and "BASKET!"

XXXX.

walking disaster.

2009-11-09T13:57:00.006+08:00

Untouchable,

Burning brighter than the sun

And when you're close I feel like coming undone

In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on

Little taste of heaven

-Untouchable, Taylor Swift

I love this song so much. It's like a beautiful lullaby.

Study date with Isa at Tamp Library has been rescheduled because of me. :S

I caught da flu and fever. (Again)

I'm really groggy from the pills now and I'm practically croaking.

Hahah.

Poor Isa, I wondered how she was able to put up with the flu on the days following the ECP excursion.

Anyway, we came to a mutual agreement that both of us would drink loads of waderr (Chemistry and Geog style. ;) ) .

There has been this stuupid prank caller that had been harrassing Khai for two days.

We took turns listening to him rant. It was fun until it lasted.

I told him to patch up on his fake accent.

Khai told him to shut up.

My uncle told him that he'll call the police.

I'm in this Taylor Swift mood now. I reallyreallyreally LOVE the song above, and I'm starting to like Superstar and Jump then Fall.

Who Says by John Mayer is growing on me. I love his voice. Sighh.

And I love Oopsy Daisy.

Oopsy Daisy

I hurt you again

Crushed your heart in the palm of my hand

If you walk out, baby

I'll understand

'Cos all I do is hurt you again

-Oopsy Daisy, Chipmunk

xxx

Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

2009-11-08T18:52:00.003+08:00

In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name

-Untouchable, Taylor Swift

I'm so in love with this song.

Oopsie Daisy by Chipmunk and Russian Roulette by Rihanna are real nice too.

Studying with Isa tomorrow at Tamp Library. :)

Can't wait.

I've this awwwful sore throat now though.

I'll update about Saturday on another day.

Lazy now, hahah.

XXX.

it's the last summer we're going to have.

2009-11-06T18:50:00.015+08:00

Smiley stress balls that Ms Yang (sp?) gave us. Mine's called Tommy Cinnamon Banana, and Ruo Xi's called Charlie.

The personal note Ms Yang (sp?) gave me. :'(

Ruo Xi and I. ^^

She looks so cute! :D

Omg, today's the last day of school.

I know it's so not me, but I realised that I'm going to miss school a whole lot.

And Ms Ng and Ms Yang (sp?).

BOTH OF THEM ARE LEAVING SCHOOL.

BOTH MY FMs.

I was so sad today when Ms Yang (sp?) handed out smiley stress balls and individual personal notes to everyone, and chocolate. Sigh, I'm really going to miss her.

Chem SPA was okay! PHEW.

In the middle of the whole thing my feet cramped, my toes pointing upwards. What fantastic timing.

Recess today with the COFP (circle of friendship people) was really fun. Zahra was making me double over with her funny stories of her veryvery splendid aunt. Poor Isa had a flu, and so we couldn't go home together 'cos she'd to go home straight away; my SPA was after school. So we couldn't camwhore or something on the last day, and Zahra too. :(((

After school Ruo Xi, Elizabeth, Sheryl and I went to Eatzculture to eat.

We were talking about all the sad dramas and movies. And stuff.

Now I want to watch a sob story real bad.

After that we rushed back to school for the SPA.

Went home with Ruo Xi! :D

Hahah, we seriously CAMWHORED.

Come on man, it's the last day, so that = pictures for memories sake.

I got off at her stop 'cos the bus was not really nice, and then we camwhored all the way to the next bus stop. I then took 10 again, and spotted Faustina and Ernie! :) They were going to Tamp Mall.

Now I'm home and I'm real sleepy.

Sigh, it's the last day of school; there's so much to reflect.

I'm going to miss Isa, Zahra, Ruo Xi, COFP, Aqilah, Pei Hua and so, so many other people.

Okay, I'm not going to make this a really lengthy post about all my emotions etc etc. Save the drama man.

So I'm going off now.

XXXXXXXXXXX

swirly ink.

2009-11-05T17:35:00.003+08:00

CHEM SPA TOMORROW.

Wish me luck.

It's after school, btw.

Can't go back with friendship of circle people. :(((

Dammit. Why am I here?

Today, I went back home with Ruo Xi.

While waiting at the bus stop for 10 with her, we looked up and freaked out.

This old man in his underwear was like walking around on his balcony. And it's not like as if he has a good body. He had bulges of fats everywhere. Yes, I mean everywhere.

We freaked out and then laughed and laughed for a long time.

In the bus we were like talking about stuff.

Like princes and fairytales.

I know, it's really idealistic and stuff.

And so I concluded to Ruo Xi that I would find love trodding over someone's toes.

Because, that's life.

Her love life would be a lot better. It'll start off in a graceful way at least. Unlike mine.

Hahah.

Isa and Zahra and Usshao- all three of them had a trip to East Coast Park 'cos all of them were Geog core students. If not for the drenched weather now, I would actually be envious. But now, look at the weather. Storms everywhere. I love it right now, but I don't think they'll be having much fun there.

I love damned if I do ya, damned if I don't by All Time Low now.

And I created an lj account for my less flippant feelings.

I'm feeling real down now, and it must be because of my period (which is three months late).

Stop PMSing lah.

Hahah.

xxx.

2009-11-04T17:14:00.003+08:00

Heartburn, gastric, dizziness, migraine, nausea.

Why must I have such a combination?

I didn't go to school today.

For the obvious, and good reason.

Chem SPA is on Friday, wish me luck.

sputtering candles will tell the time.

2009-11-03T16:39:00.007+08:00

Sigh, I shan't talk about SPA.

It'll make me more depressed than I already am.

Spa. The irony.

I love songs Bad Boys by Flo Rida and Alexandra Burke, and One Less Lonely Girl by Justin Bieber. And Wonderland by John Mayer's playing in my head now, just 'cos I told Isa to listen to John Mayer when she asked me who my favourite singers were.

I am absolutely sore all over from doing yoga yesterday. I couldn't get up for a minute when I woke up today.

Today.

I got all traumatised after school.

Nothing much happened today.

TWO periods of Malay with Zahra- we were reading this highly dramatic Karangan. Both of us were super sleepy but I think Zag was sleepier.

Ruo Xi was telling me about the book she'd read up on fashion and quizzed me. She found out that my style's classic, natural and feminine. And that Khai's sporty and natural (I took the test for her).

Went home with Isa, and was joined by Amanda. Isa's brother is seriously funny. Like my sister. Isaa, match make session! HAHAH, you know I'm kidding.

I'm remembering how Zahra and I would always imagine a match-make session between our siblings. Somehow, it'll always end up with Zag's brother running away from Khai 'cos of her deadly glare, and saying in twenty years time to their children, "When I first met your mother, I ran away from her!"

Love it.

Hahahah.

I love the locations of our classes now. The Studio, AVT, Computer Labs etc. This means walking around (which I love) and air-con.

The courtyard now is like totally devoid of all juniors. It looks kinda different and empty.

If only I could just write everything here.

Like more serious things.

All the melodrama and etcetera.

But that's what's my diary's for.

Looking at things nowadays, I realise that we have so much to learn.

I used to think I knew everything but now, I'm not so sure anymore.

xxx

guilty by association.

2009-11-02T16:46:00.006+08:00

I kept embarrassing myself today.

Thus, my End Of Year Resolution is to STOP BEING SO BLUR.

Enough said. Maybe I should thicken my skin too; I've such a thin skin. Figuratively I mean.

Bio SPA is tomorrow.

We seriously should have been given loads of practice.

I'm like so clueless. My head is filled with ?????? right now, and !!!!! .

Chem SPA is on Friday.

We're not even sec fours yet. I'm not even fifteen, and now, I've to act sixteen.

You know something? I never want to grow up.

It's quite sad when you know that that would never happen, that the world would never change its laws just for you.

Today after school, we had this extra Bio lesson for the SPA tomorrow (optional) for the whole cohort or so. We (Isa, Zahra, Usshao and I) all went and this was like our first time in 46985134095814 years that we were actually studying together. Zahra kept alerting me of my blurness, 'cos she was beside me, then she kept clucking. Hahah. Which brings us back to my resolution.

The Bio teacher was hilarious, but then she called me, and I embarrassed myself unwittingly. Bringing me back to my resolution again. ._.

It was raining heavily by the time we emerged from the AVT and Zahra treated all of us to a taxi ride to Kembangan MRT station. :)

Then we went home, duh.

I have no idea why but the phrase 'guilty by association' is imprinted on my head.

Perhaps it's got to do with something subconscious. Like a dream. For example I dreamt about limousines, stashes of lip gloss and compartments full of sunglasses today. And someone I'd never met before, in my whole entire life. I think he's the same person I've been dreaming about for a very long time. I know, it's strange.

And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall.

My birthday's about a month and eighteen days away.

Great; I don't want to get older.

Still...hint, hint! Hahah.

Oh, and yes, I am very aware that Isa's birthday is in a month and thirteen days. ;)

I like Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen now.

You never know a good thing 'till it's gone

You never see a crash 'till it's head on

Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong?

You never know a good thing 'till it's gone

the great inter-school debate adventure and teacher-parent conference yesterday.

2009-11-01T16:15:00.007+08:00

Wow. It's November already, I just can't believe it.

Yesterday was the inter school debate and TPC.

Met Zahra at the foyer. Lopz gave us and the other ushers a quick, panicky and urgent briefing (as her image calls for) and then shooed us into the studio. Loads of schools were there already. Dian joined us 'cos she didn't know where to go. Hahah, both of us were like disappointed that the vast majority were juniors.

Yeah, juniors. -.-

There was this whole group of TJC people, and I didn't realise until long after that Chu Bin was there! The fact that he was sitting quite near to me showed how slow I was. Said hi etc, but didn't talk long 'cos I had to usher my group. Lopz assigned my partner and she was Vidhya and poor Zahra didn't have a partner 'cos Saajidah had to help some teacher.

We had quite a lot of fun at the 'Exciting Adventure' part. =.=

The first station was the funniest, and Vidhya and I were observers. We joined in in the other stations. I had a great laugh man. Atmospheric jungle music was playing and this man dressed up in jungle clothes welcomed us, and etcetera.

After a while, these two upper sec photographers from some school came in and was snapping pics of them.

"ALL GUYS LIKE PINK! How 'bout that?" The teacher was howling. "Don't you want to rebut that? Do you like pink? Do all boys LOVE pink???"

No response from the silent group of mine. Then, the photographers were like, "But isn't that true?"

Hahahah, so funny. They were kidding of course.

The second station was really fun too, but the other two stations were a little boring.

The last station was The Volcanic Voices (-.-) and I was kinda scared of the weird teacher, who was prancing around and making us sing her version of Old Macdonalds Had A Farm. Poor, disgruntled Saajidah was there, helping her with the Powerpoint slides.

After that we brought the group back to the studio and listened to a mini debate between TKGS and TJC. Our school seriously beat them. Then, we were dismissed.

I met my father outside the IT resource room and we went to collect my new specs.

He talked to me about the TPC, and I think that from now onwards, I shall pull up my socks (both literally and figuratively) and become a studious nerd. Hee.

Oh, and Hidayah's birthday was yesterday too.

HAPPY 11th, HIDAYAH!

Omg, you're so old already.

And, omg, in ten years time, you'll be 21 and I'll be 25.

And in twenty you'll be 31 and I'll be 35.

WE ARE GOING TO GROW OLD AND WITHERED TOGETHER.

I'll shut up now.

Aaand, HAPPY BELATED AUNTY FAIZAH!

(My aunt's birthday is a day before Hidayah's. How cool is that?)

Hahah.

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz keeps playing in my head right now.

It's so nice. :)

My grandma was discharged from the hospital yesterday.

She doesn't have a stroke, Alhamdulillah.

Doctors suspect that it's stress.

I'm so happy.

xxx.

i'm tired of pretenses.

2009-10-29T20:03:00.004+08:00

Khai and I just came back from the Changi Hospital emergancy ward.

Today after school I met my grandma and Khai at the White Sands clinic 'cos my grandma's whole left side of her body was like numb. The doctor told us to bring her there immediately as he'd suspected that it was a sensory stroke.

My grandma, parents and uncle are still there.

She'd most probably be admitted for awhile so that they can run some scans on her.

I really didn't want to leave.

If I could have, I would have stayed with her.

I really wonder how she is now.

sleeping crescents.

2009-10-28T16:52:00.003+08:00

I've finally finished filing my Chem SPA file.

Finally!

I feel so relieved. I wish I could say that for my Bio file though.

Today was Bio Mock SPA test.

I guess the whole class smelled like spring onions when we emerged stressed and disheveled from that place. We had to forego recess because of it, ugh.

I forgot to say that today was the start of extended studies.

Sigh. Anyway, for Amath, our class is combined with 3/6. We're supposed to pair up with a 3/6 person and I'm sitting with a really nice girl. :) Forgot her name though- blame my fantastic memory.

33-ed home with Isa, Zag, and Usshao.

After months she finally saw the back of P.

The back.

Hahahah.

I think she'd know who I was referring to, including Isa and Usshao.

Um, besides that I can't really think of anything else to say.

Morning in the courtyard was fun and funny as usual. Aqilah was playing my hair and the prefect walked by and told me to pull up my socks while Aqilah was holding my hair. I'd a hard time trying to bend down and the prefect was really amused. Hijanah was hiding her badge-less state by pretending to tie her shoe laces and we were all laughing.

Yeah, that's it. My life is so boring now.

Can't think about anything to talk about. Maybe that's because I'm so sleepy.

Cya.

xxx.

real.unreal.true.untrue.

2009-10-27T22:06:00.006+08:00

Seeing him with someone else-
Your heart suddenly plummets and crushes up like a paperball
To love someone,
when you love someone who doesn't love you back.

Isn't that sad? Btw, I'm talking about Princess Hours here.
HAHAH caught ya! ;)
Like as if I'd ever put myself in that situation.
Man, I'm so obsessed (again) with Princess Hours now.

Shin's so cute. Sighhh. So stupid too.
I can sort of identify with the main character 'cos we've a lot in common in terms of character.
Okay, I'll shut up right now and continue watching.

Khai's spamming my SMS inbox right now.
She's snickering away as my phone vibrates around the dining table as I type.
Thanks ah.
Hahah.

xxx

it's just words.

2009-10-27T16:10:00.003+08:00

Reruns of princess hours.

I love that show.

And I'm feeling tired right now.

feeling sorry for little miss muffet.

2009-10-26T16:12:00.009+08:00

In the morning today during the morning assembly, Aqilah and I were standing at the courtyard minding our own business, talking to each other, when I suddenly spotted a spider dangling from her hair.

"Eh, there's a spider on your hair!" I said.

Ernie looked at it and shrieked. "OMG OMG SPIDER!"

Everyone started freaking out.

So Aqilah naturally screamed too, and she dropped on the floor to get rid of it.

It then magically disappeared.

Just a few moments later, Salwa said, "Hanisa, the spider's on your skirt!"

I was like, "Omg really?"

And everyone started freaking out again.

Mrs Pang, carrying a file in her arms, happened to walk by. "What is this commotion about?" She demanded.

"THERE'S A SPIDER ON HANISA'S SKIRT!!"

"What, come again?"

"There's a spider on my skirt."

Mrs Pang then started whacking my butt to get rid of the spider.

!!!!!!

I was like, "OUCH, OW!"

And the spider wasn't even at my butt. It was at the hem of my skirt. And anyway, the humiliation; I looked like I was being walloped. I felt as though I was being manhandled back into those kindergarten times where it was normal for a kindly teacher to whack your butt for some reason or another.

Aqilah and I were laughing and laughing so helplessly. Mrs Pang, after stopping whacking me, glared at us, put her fingers to her lips and said, "Turn to the front and pay attention!" She said it as if she whacked people's butts off on a daily basis. Took us a few moments before we could regain composure.

I'd a great time laughing with Ruo Xi during operation clean up today (which was a fail, cos our whole class didn't know anything about it), bending back from the railings so that our ponytails were dangling off, looking at stuff upside down. Aqilah got a shock trying to do that; she said it was too bright for her eyes. Hahah.

After school, dropped by the library with Isa to pay my 15 dollar library fine. Had a really really interesting debate with her on the existence of God (I was proposing, she was opposing, obviously) and whether the Big Bang theory is plausible or not. So fun; I just love talking about all these stuff, despite being terrible in my school textbook science and all.

And the librarian is the kindest librarian I'd ever seen, I swear. I forgot to top up my card and I desperately needed to borrow this book I've been searching for for two years, and guess what? She used her own NETS card to pay my fine! I paid her by cash. I felt so touched by that kind gesture.

And, hahah, Isa flipped through A Short History Of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson which I found and handed to her (so that she could look up on the Big Bang theory to strengthen her debate) and she got all creeped out by the pictures of skulls and fossils in it.

After talking to her I realised that maybe I'm not really over him after all. :S

You're the only one I wish I could forget

The only one I love to not forgive

-Broken Hearted Girl, Beyonce

I love this song right now.

I also forgot to say that I'm going to get a new pair of specs, so that I could use it interchangeably with my current one. It's cerulean blue at the sides and silver at the front. :D

Hahah I can imagine it right now, waking up every morning and deciding which pair of specs I should wear for that day to suit my mood.

Umm. I think that's all.

At least, that's all I want to talk about for now.

x. x. x.

if i'd a time-travel box.

2009-10-22T17:11:00.010+08:00

It's so fast you know.

Just yesterday I was a freshman in my school, getting all excited about the school swings and having nice and annoying seniors who kept informing me that I was actually having a honeymoon year as a sec one.

The fact that our canteen had stairs intrigued me, the Western Bonanza was the bomb, the lack of straight lines at the courtyard and the lack of irritating boys appealed to me. Everyone talking in proper English made me happy.

Having fantastic, fast friends, all spontaneous and loud and hyper and so easy to be with. The lack of racism, ignorance and sheer idiocy I'd lived through in primary school.

Listening to Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney and falling in love with it.

Sporting high socks and tight belts.

Being deathly afraid of getting booked.

Being the person who read the most books for the term.

Getting good grades without even trying.

Discovering the bubble tea shop across the road. Taking 135, 76 and 43 back home.

Listening to people prattling about guys and rolling my eyes at them, for boys were immature fools who did nothing right to me.

I think I changed so much. I don't know where to start.

The school swing has now been utterly forgotten, until nostalgia sets in. The Western stall now is not so very appetizing. Rules are tighter. My socks are so much lower, my belt is constantly hanging loose. Stress, there's so much stress right now, it's spilling over.

I have different classmates and they're fun and hyper and we're all slackers. I listen to music 24/7 now, and I have realised that other singers besides Jesse McCartney, Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne exist.

I haven't been to the school library for more than eight months.

I miss having guys to be friends with now, to talk to without having to talk about all my emotions and without having to hug them. (Don't get me wrong, I like hugs though. (: )

My grades are so crappy.

135, 76 and 43 haven't been taken for a long time, 'cos I mostly take 31, 33 or 10 now.

I have conformed a little, and I strongly believe that sec one's the time where everyone's at their most original. And I feel sad because of that.

My heart had melted, frozen and thawed out.

I now have my awesome besties like Isa and Zahra.

I said 'damn it' and 'what the hell' for the first time ever this year.

Having laughing days, blue days and insecurity attacks have been an everyday thing.

I've encountered freaky stuff, and have done a good job ignoring the freaky stuff.

Discovering that we all can be hypocrites at times had made me feel disillusioned, but I still know that everyone has an inane sense of goodness in them.

I guess I've changed, both for the better and for the worse. But I know that I'm the same in essence.

And now, I'm going to be a sec four- omg, this is just too soon. It's from an 'O's are in four years time' to an 'O's are next year, stop procrastinating, slap your face right now!'

I'm so happy I'm not fifteen yet.

I wish everything would just slow down right now; I need to breathe.

when the mind stops turning,

and the world starts weaving its lies,

when you become tired of everything and nothing,

when the sky has no more sparkle;

nothing will be the same again.

xxx

it's world war three.

2009-10-22T16:02:00.006+08:00

the contents of a blue-green bottle.

2009-10-20T18:31:00.006+08:00

Maybe I'm having a burn out right now.

Maybe it's because all the emotions I've been bottling up are spilling out right now.

Maybe I'm feeling better.

I'm so in love with Breathe.

mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see

'Cos it's a tragedy and it'll only bring you down

Now I don't know what to be without you around

-Breathe

strum.

2009-10-19T21:10:00.004+08:00

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve

But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And you know it's never simple,

Never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't,

Breathe, without you

But I have to,

Breathe, without you

But I have to

- Breathe, Taylor Swift and Colbie Calliat

Somebody wants you,

Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

- Somebody's Me, Enrique Iglesias

I LOVE these songs. Thanks Zag, for recommending me Somebody's Me!

Yeah, this is my second post.

I woke up today to The Wheels In The Bus Go Round And Round playing on the TV and was attacked with the image of me sitting beside Irfaanah and Insyirah in a few years time, feeling utterly spent while watching Barney.

'Cos you see, my sisters decided to play this CD for Insyirah (who's not able to register TV images yet, mind you) as they assumed that she'll enjoy it. She didn't. She was busy looking at the red frog hanging on her baby swing.

And so, I realised that this vision of mine was actually a premonition because it is going to come true. And so, in a few years time, I would be learning what's In in the Toddler's world.

xxx

one of the times when you're on the same page with your sister.

2009-10-19T19:51:00.006+08:00

Me: "Omg. I hear football. Football means-"

Khai: "Hot guys-"

Me: "Which means-"

Khai: "Huge embarrassment."

Both of us: "OH NO."

HAHAH.

And btw, we were kidding about the hot guys part.

Yesterday was Sunday.

Khai and I somehow ended up dragging huge bags full of old textbooks and paper across the carpark lot to the recycle bin (my mother, my sisters, and I were clearing the store room). I was wearing my old PJ top with black slacks, my hair tied in a very messy bun and I looked totally unglam. And then right in the middle of the carpark, THE PLASTIC BAG TORE.

All the textbooks and stacks of paper spilled out and we were like stranded there, exclaiming, "OHMYGOD!!" and "OH NOOOO!" and etcetera. And so, we had to carry little stacks to and from the recycle bin, which was strategically (-.-) placed near a void deck, where some guys were playing football and making a racket, thus the conversation above.

We were like thinking the same thoughts, it was such a jinx moment. But, I do have to admit that we think alike most of the times, so we do scream 'JINX!' at each other at frequent intervals.

Anyway, it was such a funny bimbo moment.

Saturday was spent in Centrepoint with my family. Insyirah got a new red pram, which was so BOOMZS. Hahah. The funnest part of the whole day was dinner at Burger King.

Bapa: "....And so, you might feel a little lame after that..."

Hidayah: "Lame?!!"

Bapa: "Lame does not only apply to what you people call each other nowadays. It means-"

Me: "Weak."

Bapa: Yes.

Khai: (looking at me) You're both of them.

Me: Huh? What?

Khai: I said, you're both of them.

Me: -shoots her a look-

Hidayah: YEAH MAN!

(Khai and Hidayah high-fives, low-fives and did the knuckle-come-into-contact-with-the-other-knuckle thingy, whereby a loud crack was heard and both of them suddenly bend over, howling in pain.)

Me: Look who's lame now.

And now, moving to Friday- I didn't elaborate on the school day. It was full of talks, a really good music competition, and the DeepaRaya performance. I was mostly with Pei Hua and Aqilah, and they spent 99% of the time screaming at each other. It was so funny! 66% of the time was spent watching Pei Hua snatch Aqilah's camera away from her, demanding Aqilah to delete her unglam photos. Hahahah.

Okay, so I'm done on my timeline thingy.

I keep having weird dreams lately.

Sigh.

Gotta scoot.

XXX

Parkway on a sunny October day with Isa

2009-10-16T18:09:00.011+08:00

If there's a 'like' button for this, I think I'll click it like a million times.

Doesn't Isa's hair look so nice and brown here?

Sigh, I'm so unphotogenic. :(((

From left, me and Isa.

Today was so funnnnn!

Laughing all the way with Isa at Parkway.

I dragged her to my tuition to pay the fees first, and then we walked the short distance to PP (though she declared that my 'short' walks are always long) and then I got my Macadamian Butterscotch ice cream while she grabbed a Subway burger.

Then we went to Gramophone to get her CD (finally) and got a little sidetracked. Laughed at many things, had so much fun! THERE WERE SO MANY BOOK SALES. Why were there book sales when I happened to be broke? Hahah.

I dragged Isa (again) to Bodyshop, and me, being so very smart, thought that the soap-free hand soap was a use-without-water sort, so I just pressed a huge plop of soap onto my hand and rubbed, and then we had to go to the toilet to wash my sticky soapy hands. Hahahah.

ZAHRA SHOULD HAVE HAD COME. If only her mum allowed her.

Then while waiting for the bus, a lady approached us (while I was giggling away and brandishing my handphone around to camwhore with Isa; we were a secluded place, so yeah.) and asked either of us to SMS her husband for her, 'cos she'd been waiting for him for a very long time and her handphone battery was flat.

I SMSed for her, and then after thanking both of us and asking for my name and Isa's, then left.

Isa was like, "...Okay...? Let's continue where we stopped." Hahahah, traumatised by the fact that we always encounter situations like that whenever we go out.

Laughed and laughed again in the bus.

So fun! getting to know each other's tastes in accessories and other stuff. I've summarised her taste in two words: Simple and Iconic. :D

Have been feeling really exhausted today for some reason. Large eyebags. But the thing is, I've enough sleep. Shows in all the pictures. :(((

Okay, okay, gotta scoot. Have ta go to mengaji.

XXXX

PS: Zahraaaa you really should have went!

Diagnosis.

2009-10-15T16:30:00.009+08:00

Darling I am tired of livin' my routined life,

There's so much in the world that I'd like to soak up with my eyes

- Just You and Me, Zee Avi.

But often times those words get tangled up in lines

And the bright lights turn to night

Until the dawn it brings

Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

-You and I, Jason Mraz

THE LOST SYMBOL IS GOOD. Though not his best. Not as exciting as his other books.

There's nothing much to talk about now in my mundane life.

Except all the drama involving my ancient and slightly senile downstairs neighbour who's giving my poor grandma a hard time. But yeah, besides that, there's nothing much.

I brought my grandma to the Homeopathy doctor in Jurong East (polar opposite of Pasir Ris) today and I myself got checked.

Omg, I didn't even have to open my mouth.

I just said that I'd heartburn and he launched into a diagnosis of everything that I'm suffering from right now. And he covered everything I wanted to tell him and he added more stuff I didn't really consider telling him.

Whoa, awesome.

Apparently I've both high blood pressure and low blood pressure, depending on my stress level, which contributes to the extremes of my appetite and fatigue. And I'm slightly anemic, but that I'm aware of. Hahah.

Hm, then when we went home, I played with the baby for awhile. So adorable.

I'm feeling sleepy right now, so I think I'll take a nap.

That's all I guess.

xxx

look at all of us and all of them, we're all just fickle starbeams.

2009-10-14T20:26:00.012+08:00

I'm not going to school tomorrow, and I'm feeling happy, though unhappy that I'm not going to be able to catch up with Isa at PP and Zag during recess.

IT'S TIME TO READ THE LOST SYMBOL BY DAN BROWN.

Changing hearts,

neutralised eyes,

and it's 'cos we're all fickle people.

when you know you're breakable.

2009-10-14T14:37:00.004+08:00

Round each corner there's a chance

People searching glance to glance

Moving bout real fast

Like insects and fish when they're scared

And they sing the same old song

Though it's been so very long

They sing, raindrops falling on my head

But that doesn't mean that I am dead

-Raindrops, Regina Spektor

I think Regina Spektor's songs are good and her lyrics are really fresh and original.

Watching Bleach now. It's real nice!

Nothing much to say.

Feeling sightly depressed now.

I just realised that my excursion to Marina Barrage is tomorrow and I'm not feeling up to it for some reason.

I should just stop thinking about my upcoming results.

Hit the stop button in my head and concentrate on other stuff like...like stuff.

sunday shadows- pictures

2009-10-13T22:11:00.016+08:00

We sat there looking at the faces

Of these strangers in the pages

'Till we knew them mathematically

They were in our minds until forever

But we didn't mind

We didn't know better

So we made our own computer

Out of macaroni pieces

And it did our thinking while we lived our lives

-The Calculation, Regina Spektor

Poor quality pictures from my handphone camera again.

I just love how the sunlight changes shades while the sun goes down.

It's no surprise why my favourite time of the day is 5.30 pm onwards.

Look at the dining table strewn with all our books and papers.

Hahah, I bet you can guess which shadow belongs to me.

From left, me, Hidayah and Khai.

I'd went nearer to the wall to get a better picture.

Khai And I.

XXX.

Exams are over. I shall put that on repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat again, just for emphasis.

2009-10-13T21:03:00.034+08:00

Hmm yeah, exams are over.

Should I sound more excited?

Okay. Exams are over + !!!

Just depressed with how I did though.

Blanking out on both math papers and the chem paper.

Enough of depressing myself. I'll say hello to the computer and music and the park downstairs and my BOOKS, and my colour pencils and more time with my cousin and impulsive stop offs. So far out of all these, only music remained a constant during my exam period. Can't get enough of 98.7 fm in the morning and afternoon.

After math today, I took 135 with Isa and then met my grandma at Payar Lebar mrt station and we took a taxi to meet the rest of my family at Jurong Bird Park. Sorry Isa! Hahah, I haven't been there since, like, primary two. That was, omg, seven years ago. it was really fun though I was half dead due to exam hangover and the lack of sleep.

There's one thing I've learnt: Lorries are the most annoying birds ever- we went to the Lorry Loft and my father bought food for them and they came swarming on his arm and their claws sank in, and now his arm has loads of indents and scratches.

Some poor quality photos taken with my handphone camera; my digital camera has issues at the moment.

The ceiling of the bird show area.

Hahah, this was funny 'cos I was supposed to be concentrating on the bird show and snapping away at all Macau parrots but I got a little bored and my attention got a little diverted by the vibrant colours of their clothes.

The swan liked Hidayah's orange Crocs for some reason.

It thought it was food.

I'll put the shadows pictures on another post.

It's night now and I'm really sleepy. Slept throughout the whole taxi ride home, which was quite rare for me.

sunday shadows.

2009-10-10T19:04:00.010+08:00

It's really fun studying with my sisters. :)
Today, I got up at EIGHT to go for mengaji, then came back at around ten plus,went back to sleep 'cos I was really exhausted, woke up at one, ate a rare lunch with my family (Hidayah was telling us of this weird relief teacher who constantly told her class moral stories- always regarding her money and Mercedes car), sat down with my family and had a restful time listening to conversations between my parents and grandma, and between my sisters and Charmaine (little neighbour ) and then painted with them to destress.

Procrastination?

Hahah, anyway then I studied with my sisters on the dining table. Khai came to a sudden realisation that My Very Efficient Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas couldn't work for the Solar System 'cos Pluto decided that it wasn't a planet anymore and came up with My Very Evil Monster Just Gave Us Nothing.
We camwhored at five plus and took pictures of our shadows. It was so fun! I'll will upload next time.

And then they were like dancing the Nobody dance and Khai and Hidayah did flying kicks. So fun! I tried but I immediately fell on the floor and rolled around when my leg kicked above my upper torso. They rolled around the floor too, but not because of the pain. Hmph. Hahah.

I just love late afternoon. Dusk. I'd always thought that time of the day was twilight but Isa said it wasn't. My bad! :P

I'm using Bapa's laptop now while he's eating and trying to show all of us how interesting wrestling is (WWE is on TV). But I just don't see the point of people flailing around the square thingy and beating each other up while proclaiming that they're better than each other for the sake of entertainment. Where's the peace and love man? Hahah.

Okay, gtg.

XXXX.

black hairbands, medium skirts and tired eyes.

2009-10-09T21:08:00.003+08:00

FIVE HOURS OF TUITION TODAY.

OMG.

And it was only double tuition, not triple.

How could I, a math-phobic slacker have endured that hell?

Hahah whatever. At least it helped, though I was brain dead at the end. No, not really. It was more like I was brain dead during the whole thing and the minute I stepped out, I went wild. Pei Hua was opposite. Downstairs there was this second-hand book sale and I BOUGHT THE SUBTLE KNIFE FOR THREE DOLLARS AFTER FIVE YEARS OF AN UNCOMPLETED TRILOGY.

Okay, I shall un-caps-lock now.

I was relieved about Bio 'cos I fell asleep last night instead of studying, rushed to school today but missed the miserable train by a split second, poured over the textbook though my eyes kept drooping and was utterly convinced that I didn't have a chance of passing given my predicament. And now, I think I'll pass. Insyaallah.

The baby's so adorable. Her current obsession is sucking her mittened fingers. Sooooo cuuutee. She's on the baby swing right now, her eyes widening everytime she goes up. :)

xxx.

Catch a wisp, lose a tendril.

2009-10-08T15:30:00.009+08:00

A single bullet got me, I can't stop the bleeding.

-Straight Through My Heart, Backstreet Boys

My shriller went off today right after the MT paper 2 in the toilet.

Luckily Mei Ling was there to help me while I dug through my bag to find it. Luckily Isa was there to spot it and turn it off when I couldn't. Luckily no one was really there.

Geog was hard. No, it wasn't actually. The time limit was. And most of what I'd studied didn't come out. Malay was freakkyyy awful. No surprises there.

Bio's tomorrow. Chem and Amath on Monday. Emath on Tuesday. Triple tuition tomorrow. Maybe this is what living precariously means; getting drowned in stuff like this. Ugh.

33-ed with Isa, Zahra (who finally came after three days of ponning) and Usshao. All of us were feeling dead except for Zag. She was super high and came to a conclusion that studying is the key to happiness. Uh-huh. Yeah, for her.

Maybe I should change my URL again. Maybe.

xxx.

a separate jigsaw puzzle.

2009-10-06T15:58:00.006+08:00

I won't make any promises about not blogging.

No promises.

These are videos (shaky) of my cousin squirming around. Background music: Growing Up playing on the TV, my grandma talking to her in Malayalam, my phone SMS ringtone, sisters talking, us arguing over the camera.

I just love her so much.

I realised something about new people, new additions to the family. Your heart don't squeeze them in, it expands to fit them in. And now I love her as much as I love my sisters.

Just yesterday I never thought of having a cousin. And today, if she were removed, my life would change forever. New people alter our lives and give us new perspectives.

She's like my number one distraction, and my number one panadol. Because when I'm with her I forget all my troubles, mesmerised by her pure, innocent face.

Oh, and she's my number one hot water bottle. Bacause she's so warm, and so nice to hold, and when you're having cramps, it helps. Hahah.

I'm able to carry her around now.

Okay, enough spazzing about my cousin.

Zahra didn't come yesterday and today. I didn't go to school yesterday too-bad migraine and heartburn.

Went home with Isa. :)

AND OMG WE WITNESSED A BUILDING ON FIRE.

We were in the bus, people being as noisy as ever, and I was laughing at Isa's joke when suddenly Aqilah was like, "Hanisa! Look, there's fire!"

"Fire?! Where?!"

And sure enough there was smoke billowing EVERYWHERE. It was kinda cool actually. Cancel that. It wasn't cool for the poor people. Let me rephrase. The smoke was cool, but its effects weren't. I really hope no one got hurt.

31 took a different route to avoid it. And we could like smell acrid smoke. It smelled a little like burning paper during the Hungry Ghosts Festival. Isa was like, "Ohhh so that's what fire smells like." Hahah. She made me laugh so much about some idiotic swimming-mate of hers that my stomach hurt.

I told her the joke I tried on my mother that day after I watched My Super Sweet 16 on MTV.

To my mum, I was like (with a posh British accent), "Mummy, on my birthday I want a Lamborghini."

"Do you want me to hit you on your head?"

"Hahahah, no lah."

Moments later:

"Hanisa!"

"Yes? Have you reconsidered?"

Hahah.

Today was a no go. It was so boring I nearly cried.

WE HAD TWO AND A HALF PERIODS OF CHEM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Ruo Xi and I were laughing so much at the end of school. Thanks for lending me your Geog notes! :D

Oh, btw, I did it again. I got my exam dates wrong and thought that Bio was on Thursday and Geog was on Friday. ._.

Okay that's it. Gotta go.

xxxx.

I WANT RED HEADPHONES.

2009-10-03T21:53:00.004+08:00

And I want ice cream.

After the FYEs, Isa proclaimed that she'll drag me to Gramaphone, Parkway to get Brand New Eyes, the new Paramore CD.

After the FYEs, I'm SO going to drag her to that New Zealand ice cream shop for macadamian butterscotch or something like that. Either that or I'm going to drag her and Zahra to Ice Cream Chefs.

BE PREPARED PEOPLE.

I'm determined to enjoy myself before the freaky sec 4 year starts.

'But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, but I didn't know it at fifteen.' -Fifteen, Taylor Swift

2009-10-03T19:43:00.015+08:00

I want to start with a fantastic, exciting, flabbergasting, firework-inducing line, but nothing much happened today to tell you the truth. Whole family went out for a Kenduri for Insyirah except for me and Khai 'cos we needed to study. Talked to Khai bout loads of stuff.

Double Math tuition yesterday with Pei Hua after Social Studies and Malay Paper One FYE.

SS was okay. I managed to finish my last SEQ in a whopping ten minutes.
Malay was a little screwed though. It was invigilated by a nutter who kept pulling up his pants (which were high up enough) while shouting instructions. About fifteen minutes before it ended, I seriously needed to use the toilet so I raised my hand.

"Hah? What do you want?"
"May I use the toilet?"
(He cups his ears and bends down towards me) "What?"
"May I go toilet?"

Deaf lah dey.
Hahah.

In the morning my shriller went off when Usshao and I were on the escalator. I was so lucky; there was no one there at that time. So we laughed.

In tuition, Mrs Ng (the tuition teacher) was in a full panic mode and was going so fast. Yi Ting, Pei Hua and I were like seeing stars.
Then during Emath Mrs Ng kept cracking R21 jokes. And, in front of the guys!

For example:
"My husband always forget to feed the dog one, you know. Then I always have to clean up after the dog. So angry one! Then one day he asked me to feed the dog. Then you know what I said? 'I have no milk.' "
The whole class burst into laughter. Especially the guys.

Then later, she was drawing this cylinder thingy to illustrate to us how to find the area of it.
"I don't like to draw this shape," She then declared. "So R21." Everyone laughed except for Pei Hua and I who were the only sec 3s there at that time. We didn't think it very funny. -.- Then she said, "Shhh don't tell your parents ah."

Hahahah.

I have DOUBLE MATH tuition next Tuesday AGAIN but this time WITHOUT Pei Hua. AAAAH.

That's much it i guess.
Obviously there's more.
But then I'll bore everyone about my fickle heart and my fickle infatuation.
So yeah.

xxx.

screaming zombies, mad hatters, and freaking exams.

2009-10-01T15:37:00.008+08:00

I remember every look upon your face

The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste

You make it hard for breathing

'Cos when I close my eyes and drift away

I think of you and everything's okay

And finally now, we're leaving.

-Two Is Better Than One, Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift

33-ed with Isa, Zahra and Usshao today after Eng FYE.

ENGLISH FYE.

I'm having premonitions of me getting terrible marks for it.

What if I, omg, fail?

This is utterly NOT irrational.

Social studies tomorrow, and OMG MALAY.

I was laughing so much with Usshao in the morning that I'd utterly forgotten about the Eng FYE until we reached the school gates.

SS tomorrow, SS tomorrow, SS tomorrow.

Malay tomorrow, Malay tomorrow, Malay tomorrow.

Aaah, aaah, aah.

Okay, I'll shut up right now.

xx.

'Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?'

2009-09-30T16:44:00.015+08:00

English FYE tomorrow.
Social Studies and Malay on Friday.
!!!!!!!
Mornings seem to get better, emotions seem to get milder, days are getting worse; stress is kicking in like a chopper.
Finally told Usshao and Sanga yesterday.
I'd expected her to roll on the floor and faint, so I was really amazed and relieved at her calmness and interest. I can't believe that she'd never noticed him; she'd only noticed the person she called 'Shrubs' because of his hair (though it looks nothing like that). And she said that the person I like has spiky hair too!
So now, there's a Poofy-haired guy and a Shrub-haired guy. Hmph, I didn't know how hair could be used to generalise everything.

For today, nothing much happened. Social Studies was most interesting; Mr Low was telling us ghost stories (He'd covered everything he wanted to teach us for the FYE on Fri).
Was really annoyed with someone who knocked into me and didn't bother to apologise. Is it so difficult to say sorry or something? Ugh.
Was brain dead during Chem again.
Same went for Amath.

Scrawled 'H' all over Zahra's Malay workbook.

She scrawled 'Z' all over mine.
Didn't go home with Isa 'cos her mum fetched her.
Never mind; there's always tomorrow. :)

This is random, but I suddenly remembered me last year, with my short, triangular, frizzy, rebellious hair. I remember how horrible I'd looked like; while Usshao and I were eating at the roti prata shop, an ex-schoolmate was there and laughed like mad when he saw me. And it's not as if we were best friends or anything. The worst thing of all was that he was my junior.

I keep having random flashbacks and sudden pangs of nostalgia nowadays.
Having bad cramps now, ugh.
Gotta scoot.
Somehow for some reason, Running by No Doubt keeps playing in my head.

Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love

Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running
Keep holding my hand
t's so we don't get separated

x.

PS: My baby cuz is coming on Sat and is going to stay here PERMANENTLY. Finally!

saturday moonbeams.

2009-09-27T15:58:00.010+08:00

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection, we can't deny
I'm so obsessed
- Hey Soul Sister, Train

Didn't get a chance to study yesterday- it was jam packed with relatives and parents' friends from one pm onwards.
Studying now.
Feeling frustrated with Amath.
Oh, and I went to my Ustaza's house yesterday with my sisters, MINUS my parents, who were catering to relatives in my house. Omg, it was the most awkward thing ever. It was a fullhouse for them too, and my high heels broke.

The highlight of yesterday was Uncle Elias & family, my father's friend whose name is simply unspellable and his wife and son, and Uncle Yazit & family. Uncle Elias is so funny and his wife is the nicest, gentlest person ever. My father's friend's mixed british and american accent is cool, and his wife is so intriguing. And the way her parents met and fell in love is so romantic. Her mum was from TKGS, her dad was from TKSS, and- bam! It was love at first sight. So sweet, right?
My mother shot me a look and was like, "Don't get any ideas!"

Uncle Yazit (who's a policeman) promised to bring me a shriller or whatever it's called so that I'll be prepared the next time someone tries to molest me. Great! He and Uncle Sufian also told us many creepy cases about pedophiles etc. And Mariam is the most adorable distant cousin everr.
I miss so many things and so many people right now. This is what studying does to you.
Sigh.

Tuition on Tuesday's gonna be real stressful- Amath and Emath together till 6 pm.

Now's Sunday. Parents and sisters are out to visit relatives.
I was going to write something but I've forgotten about it. Seemed important though.

xxx.

it was autumn; the leaves were falling.

2009-09-25T16:28:00.012+08:00

Yesterday was a really beautiful day.

Before PE (first period) started, the sky turned into a gorgeous yellow hue and suddenly luminescent clouds gathered, and the wind- omg, the wind. I was like reveling in its wildness. If you didn't know me, and how excited I'd get in storms, you'd think I was a maniac or something, with my head tilted to the sky and my eyes closed and my mouth upturned in a smile.

Storms are, and have always been, my favourite kind of weather. Weird, I know, but they make me feel so fantastic and wild.

Ruo Xi, Sheryl, Faizah and I went out of the class to the railings to enjoy the wind. Ruo Xi and I stayed when they left and saw glowing clouds etc and it had been a long time since I've felt that happy; the wind was blowing really madly. We chatted until Mr Tan came out and told us to return to class, and then we continued talking. Laughed like mad, man.

Chatted with Isa during recess- It's been so so long since we bus-sed together. Sigh. Told her that I saw him yesterday (finally) and etc. :D

Zahra didn't come 'cos she banged her toe on the cupboard and decided to take a day off. Quoted from her. Hahahah. But she told me today that her nail was purple, so OUCH.

About half the class (including the terribly guilty me) got sent out of class during English 'cos we either forgot to bring or do our compre. After about fifteen minutes or so, we were called back in though because the period was over. Anyway, I'd completed it and handed it up to her, feeling awful when she pretend-pouted and told me not to be lazy. I was terribly blur then; it took me about ten seconds to get what she was saying 'cos I was daydreaming, and then I was like, "OHHH, hahah, okay!" She gave me an amused stare.

After that, I was like laughing hysterically with Aqilah, Risa and Pei Hua, and Pei Hua got so incensed by Aqilah that she'd chucked her pencil box at her and the papers on the table fell and we were practically rolling on the floor in laughter. Ms Ng told us to keep quiet in mock seriousness; she was trying not to laugh too.

Then, went to tuition with Pei Hua after eating lunch with her and Yi Jia at Eatzculture. The Hor Fun was delicious. Felt kind of down after tuition for some reason.

For today, nothing much happened. Ruo Xi didn't come; I'd sent her to the sickbay yesterday after finding out that she had blood in her mucus and chest pains. Hope she feels better.

Laughed loads during math (surprisingly) mostly 'cos of Pei Hua.

For example, "How to do the Angelican High paper one ah?"

And her fights with Aqilah. "What do you mean I look like a cat?! Aaaaaaaah!!!"

And I was saying to Brenda, "Hey, omg, your pen looks like lipstick!"

Brenda stared. "It is lipstick."

We laughed. Then, she turned to Pei Hua. "Hanisa thought this was a pen!"

Pei Hua looked at it. "It does what."

I just love laughing. In case you haven't noticed. Here, I'm sorely tempted to put 'hahah'.

Was really stoned by Chem. Didn't register a single thing, really.

That's all I guess. Happy, I Look Better Without You and Starstrukk are still stuck in my head.

XXX.

and-hey, I'm just fizzing starstruck.

2009-09-23T18:03:00.009+08:00

I look so good without you

Got me a new hairdo

Looking fresh and brand new

Since you said that we were through

-I look so good without you, Jesse James

LISTEN to Starstrukk by 30h3 and Katy Perry, Happy by Leona Lewis, and I look so good without you by Jesse James.

Finally got back to my normal morning bus-train routine.

Went back home with Ruo Xi and severely regretted not going down to sit when she left.

While walking with Zahra to Malay, I was hoping that Cikgu didn't come and voiced out my fervent hope that she was overtired from the Jalan Raya. Guess what? She didn't come. Talked, laughed, and shockingly managed to learn a thing or two about respiration. Thanks Zahra! And I shockingly managed to teach her something too.

Then after school, I was looking for tissues (mine finished) and spotted Isa.

"Isa-Belle, d'you have tissues?"

"Umm...uhh...."

"I know you do!!"

"Why ah? You need it?"

"Obviously! You have right?"

"Fine lah, fine lah! You owe me man."

"Uh-huh, and you owe me so much more." (Yes, she owes me many packets of tissue)

Hahah, it was so funny. She reluctantly gave it to me, much to the pretend-clucking of her friends' tongues at her hesitance.

Willed myself not to buy bubble tea. For once, my will ousted my want.

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learnt to pronounce

How, do I say I'm sorry 'cos the word is never gonna come out now

L-O-V-E's just another word I never learnt to pronounce

-Starstrukk

I love the irony of me loving this song.

xxx.

I guess I never saw that taxi.

2009-09-22T15:58:00.020+08:00

The song's so funnily morbid.

Went home with Isa today (finally) after getting bubble tea. Actually, Zahra, Isa, Usshao and I were supposed to 33 together but I was seriously pining for bubble tea- after a month I tell you- so Isa and I stopped at Videoworld and the usual bubble tea shop for crackers and bubble tea respectively. We were too late; Zahra and Usshao had most probably left already, so we 31-ed instead. Laughed like mad as usual.

The awesome thing about Isa is that she can endure my super talkativeness with a great finesse. Zahra too. :D

I realised some stuff about myself.

1. I can be painfully shy, or extremely passive (mostly when I'm real bored) for one moment and then talk and laugh crazily for the next moment. At least, if I'm comfortable with the people around me.

2. I can be super, extremely talkative. Like, really, really, really. And I also can shut up for an hour straight. Or I'll be in a listening mood and listen for two periods straight to someone talking without saying anything except, "Ohh, yeah, uh-huh." How extreme, if you think about it.

Balance, Hanisa. Hahah.

School today was okay except that I missed my train by a split second and got so pissed about it.

I don't want to be later than I am normally. I remember being late for a week straight like a couple of weeks ago. Horrible. So I should stick to the 6.30 train and never miss it. Never take the 6.35 train as there's loads of weirdos in it, like farting grandpas and lecherous plumbers (some, not all of course) for instance. I think I should change my sitting position in the train (again). So far I've been sitting at the extreme corners of the train. Maybe I need change; something refreshing.

Body Language, What You Say, The Day I Died, and We Belong Together keeps playing in my head. Mostly superficial, feel-good kinda songs at the present to improve my mood.

Um, that's pretty much about it.

Time to focus.

xxx.

it's now complete.

2009-09-21T20:11:00.005+08:00

Aunty Faizah, Ma, baby (agitated), and Elapa.

Now everyone's up here :)

Just came back from sushi. I'm so stuffed I can barely breathe.

Highlight of it was Hidayah jumping up and down and exclaiming, "I'm eating octopus, I'm eating octopus!"

School's tomorrow. Sigh. Guess I've to shuttle back to reality.

There's almost nothing to look forward to.

Maybe...

Oh shut up.

xxx.

grinning firecrackers and wide-eyed babies.

2009-09-21T14:09:00.024+08:00

As you can see, all of us are disgruntled at having to doll up to visit relatives.

Aren't my sisters pretty? :D

I love Bapa's skill! :D

Omg, omg, omg I'm carrying her! Hahah I'm going all gushy.

I just love babies.

Look at Insyirah's expression!

Taken today.

Insyirah's about a month old now. Feel so geram! Sorry for the Malay expression;

I dunno how to translate it. Like I want to hug her 'cos she's so cute.

Me, stoning at the lift lobby of the ward (Khai took it.)

Think I had a bad day that day-but I was ecstatic about the baby obviously.

It had uplifted my mood.

Insyirah-barely a day old.

First five minutes I laid my eyes on her.

Credits to Bapa for the first five pictures :)

The last three pics were taken in the hospital about a day after Insyirah's birth. Finally able to upload it.

TO ALL MUSLIMS OUT THERE, EID MUBARAK! (belated)

Yesterday was Aidilfitri. The main excitement was the baby's arrival home. We were all practically jumping. Half way through our wearing-of-scarves session where my poor mum was going bonkers trying to fix Khai's rebellious scarf, the bell rang and all of us rushed to the door.

Elapa was carrying dozens of plastic bags and he pulled a long face. "Aunty Faizah and the baby are coming later."

"WHAAAT?!!!" We screamed.

"Just kidding!" Aunty Faizah emerged from where she was hiding from, carrying the squirming baby. We screamed again.

OMG Aunty Faizah- you've slimmed down LOADS! I was so shocked at her lack of stomach, after being accustomed to seeing it for nine months.

After that was pretty chaotic. We were rushing here and there, trying to see the baby (we call her The Baby instead of Nur Insyirah) and fix our scarves, and talk to Aunty Faizah.

Then, we left for our relative's house. It was packed with people in purple and black and I saw some people whom I'd totally forgotten. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Went back home after that and rushed to see the baby. We had a visitor, and his two-year-old son. He left when Uncle Alfian and Aunty Yani came (they're not our uncle and aunty btw) and I listened to a highly interesting discussion and debate on geneology, religion and science. When they left, our relatives (Nenek Zahra and family) came, adored the baby, and by that time I was so exhausted that I went to sleep regardless of the fact that Nenek Sapiah and her family would be coming later on.

Khai told me today that there were seven toddlers running around creating havoc when Nenek Sapiah and family arrived though. So, I didn't miss anything.

Will talk about Friday now. Nothing much happened, except that I got my IC and was hit with the sudden realisation that I would become an adult one day. NOO. Went to tuition with Pei Hua after she dragged me to Parkway (to get her ice cream and pretzel). I am so envious of her high metabolic rate man. Miss bus rides with Isa and, yes, I haven't seen him for days. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.

On Saturday was another spring cleaning. Watched most of the VMA. Taylor Lautner is so hot. Sighhh. Though I don't think he suits the role of Jacob in New Moon.

Was PMS-ing, having weird mood swings; I burst into tears when Hidayah called me fat (and she didn't mean it) when we were having a petty fight on which area each of us should scrub. Then, pretty much regained my sense of humour. It was so fun hanging up the curtains with my sisters and singing/screaming power songs out of tune.

"I CAN SEE YOUR HALO, HALO, HALO, HALOOOO!!!" (Hidayah, Irfaanah and I)

"Will you shut up?!" (Khai)

The baby's leaving after Asar and she's coming and staying permanently in about two weeks time. I'm so happy. And I just watched Wolverine ( slow, I know.) and it's AWESOME. I wanted to cry for so many parts 'cos it was so sad.

Current song faves: The Day I Died by Just Jack, Body Language by Jesse McCartney

& What You Say by Loon.

Leaving soon at four with my family for sushi. Can't wait, can't wait.

XXXX

the dixie gimmick.

2009-09-17T20:49:00.012+08:00

It's been what- four days?

It seemed like eternity. I didn't know I was this addicted to blogger.

Quick summary:

We won the debate on Tuesday but I wanted to dig a hole and hide myself in there 'cos I blabbered so much nonsense.

Yesterday was my first day in official unofficial detention. It's not exactly detention though. And, yes, it's because of the Legacy project. Luckily the teachers know that all of us are really innocent and this wouldn't go on record.

We (Pei Hua, Ruo Xi, Sheryl and I) scraped off lizard poop (!!!) lodged on the basins and tables in the home econs room. Laughed like mad and after that we had a great bonding session. Got to know Sheryl a lot better. It was actually really fun, despite the filth and etcetera.

Seems like everyone's breaking up these days.

Nothing much happened today. Laughed and goofed around with Zahra during Malay, went for tuition with Pei Hua, felt extremely exhausted due to the lack of sleep, felt depressed due to many things apart from the many break-ups and complications many of my classmates are going through these days (it's been a rollercoaster, man.), and realised that I haven't seen him for days.

During my bus ride (12) home, this old lady asked, "Excuse me, do you know where Bedok South Avenue 3 is?"

I plugged out my earphones. "Huh?" I asked blearily because I was heavily fatigued. She repeated her question. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm not so sure," I then said. Strangely enough, I felt very comfortable with her, like I could just talk to her about anything. Strange as I said, the age gap and all. "I just got acquainted with this bus."

"It's okay," she replied and smiled determinedly. "I thought to ask, you know, because youngsters these days know everything."

"Oh no, we really don't," I told her and laughed. She laughed back.

"I'm ancient so I don't know anything," she said much to my protests. "See, I'm going for a wake, and I don't know how to get there." I saw her chin wobble and her lips trembled out of her smile.

Omg. I was so sad for her. She started crying then. I felt compelled to pat her back and tell her that everything would be okay, but her being a complete stranger kinda held me back.

"I'm so, so sorry, omg, I'm so sorry," was all I managed to say before she looked down to compose herself.

Then I realised how stupid I've been today. I've been feeling depressed over such small, inconsequential matters whereas other people have been experiencing real grief and heartbreak. In this aspect, I've been really self- centred today, indulging in self doubt and depression. I think I should start cheering up despite the upcoming exams.

My uncle was in 12 with me too, but we didn't know until both of us got off from the bus. Hahah. He's coming with my new cousin and aunt on Sunday and I'm so excited.

I've been having so much lesser bus rides and long chats with Isa these days. Sigh. Stupid FYEs.

That's not all but I've so little time. Will write next time- hopefully.

Currently, my paternal relatives (the nice ones) are visiting our house. They came for break-fast. They're really, really nice people and whenever I'm around them, I feel this deep sense of calm and peace. I love their children too, Habib and Mariam. They have sunburst smiles that make your hearts melt.

Maybe I'll rest for today. I have incurred a huge sleep debt and I think I've to pay it now, or I won't be able to function for a long time. Oh well.

Bye Bye by Mariah Carey kept playing in my head today.

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ‘cause we will never say bye

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
“I wish I could talk to you for awhile”
“I wish I could find a way try not to cry”

XXXX

The first day of term 4.

2009-09-14T21:56:00.010+08:00

The first day of term four was-
The first day of term four was a train wreck.

In the beginning anyway.
It became better later on.

During morning assembly, the prefect told me to pull up my socks and belt up (normally it's Fai who's under scrutiny), and our whole class almost got booked because our thermometers were in class. We were innocent for the first time ever, 'cos no one informed us of this.
With fifteen more days to the FYEs, it's no wonder I'm so stressed. Everyone is. Maybe I should go on a little hiatus. Not declaring anything outright because of my wretched weak will. Hahah.

Went home with Isa and Zag after dreaded Emath Remedial.
It was hilarious! Zag showed us an Usher video in her Ipod, and we were waiting for ages for it to get to the point, and when it finally did, we discovered that the point she was trying to bring across was his hotness with his shirt off. HAHAH.
Talked to Isa and laughed like mad in the train.

Reached home a little before break fast.

Laughed crazily with my sisters.
The convo went like this:

Khai: I never really got what lmao meant until a short while ago.

Me: What does it really mean?

Khai: Laugh My Ass Off. Oops, sorry, my bad.

Me: There's nothing wrong with that word actually, whaat.

Khai: It's bad, whaat.

Me: It isn't; it means donkey- like, I'm taking my ass out riding today. Or, my ass is so fat.

-gives an innocent expression-

Khai: Yeah. Tell Bapa that. Remember Hidayah pretending to be a Minah and saying 'sial' for fun?

(All four of us burst into hysterical laughter)

Hahahahah.
Really loved seeing their stunned, scandalised expressions before their amusement kicked in.
Hahahahah.

Okay. Enough of these nonsensical stuff.
Um, I think I'm not going to blog as frequently- at least, for these three weeks.

Now I've to prepare for the debate tomorrow that's ruining my mood right now. It's about MJ. I feel horrible right now. And really guilty.
Zag's in a worse mood than I am, I bet; she loves MJ more than I do. Quote: "I shall tell Lopz that this is against my principles!!"

'Ta.

Life's a game but it's not fair, I break the rules so I don't care.

2009-09-12T15:10:00.003+08:00

Feel it coming in the air
Hear the screams from everywhere
I'm addicted to the thrill
It's a dangerous love affair
-Run This Town, Jay Z feat Rihanna and Kanye West

Spent the whole morning making pineapple tarts with my family. I was talking non-stop; no one could find the mute button. I haven't talked this gibly for ages. My father helped for the first time ever. When his friend called, he was like, "Sorry, I'm helping my family do the kueh right now. What can I say? I'm surrounded by females in this house." And we all started laughing.

Poor Khai has caught my fever. At least she didn't have to do the tarts.

My grandma was like, "Poor Khai, every year she does these tarts...now she can't."

Hidayah retorted, "Yeah, and she's probably celebrating in the room right now."

Then just now, my mother was being hilarious.

My mum: Hanisa, get me a drink.

Me: Okay. -Gets her a drink-

My mum: -Smiles innocently- I'm fasting.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

2009-09-11T16:56:00.009+08:00

Love Yellow, Coldplay. I know it's a really old song. But.
And I love The River Flows In You despite its origin.

Yeah. I've been MIA for a week plus.
I think this is my longest hiatus yet, omg.
Okay.
From the holidays, I can gather that:

1. I'm the number one procrastinator in the history of mankind- somebody please slap me right now, I'm begging you.

2. The holidays are dragging so tortuously on that I sometimes wish school would come quick. Then I catch myself. No. School would be a whole lot worse.

3. I MISS ISA AND ZAG. I haven't talked to both of them for ages.

4. I'm suddenly feeling sentimental, and I'm going through all the disney princess movies and Pride and Prejudice. The latter's my all time fav, and I'm peeved that no one wants to watch it with me. Casanova, anyone? I'm just a romantic I guess. I hate how unrequited love sounds so tragic, and I love watching people fall in love in movies. And I wonder with faint distaste how spectator-like I'm being. A casual observer. At the front row sit. With honey-glazed popcorn.

The only comparatively interesting stuff that's been happening are the daily feuds (the laughing sort) my sisters and I have on our way to mengaji on who would press the lift buttons. I win everyday of course, because my sisters aren't known for being patient. After about five minutes of being stuck in the lift, one of them would finally groan and press the button. Hahahah.

And, yes. Mengaji's everyday now. It's quite nice actually, sitting down and experiencing the homeliness of my teacher's house. Her four year old son is always flirting with Irfaanah (who's 7) and Hidayah (who's 11), and they're positively sick of him.

I know I'm having romantasized and quaint ideas about the past, but I can't help it. Who could, after watching all the disney princess cartoons, and reading books like Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre and Gone with The Wind? Sometimes I wish I could live then, idling about on beautiful rolling hills and visiting friends. The best thing about the past is the lack of exams. Yeah. I think that's the thing.

Still having dizzy spells etc. When would it all go away?

The exceptional incident involving a particular vegetable.

2009-09-04T21:38:00.007+08:00

Being ill.

Its perks:

1. I get a room to myself. It's like a once in a life time thing, given the overcrowded state of my house.

2. I don't need to help during break fast, 'cos I might spread germs into the food. And etcetera.

3. I am allowed to keep a stack of books beside my bed. My parents would never ever allow me to do that; they'd normally kick up a fuss when they see a book beside me.

4. Fine. It's two stacks.

5. I don't feel hungry.

6. I get loads of sleep.

7. I get to use the computer.

The bad stuff:

1. I'm too dizzy to read,

2. so the books are there to comfort me with their presence.

3. I feel like puking most of the time,

4. which is why I'm not hungry.

5. I still feel exhausted every time I wake up.

6. It feels like the ice age is coming.

7. And because of all of this, I don't get to enjoy any of its perks.

Hahah.

See? I'm bored enough to make lists.

I wonder what went on in school today. And yesterday.

At the same time, I don't want to think about what happened today in school or yesterday.

The Joke Of The Day By Khai (during break-fast)

Khai: You know, last time my teacher was like taking the attendance for her old class... and she was like calling for Beatrice. But then, no one answered, even after she called for a million times.

Hidayah: A million times?

Khai: (gives Hidayah the shut-up look) Then after everything, my teacher asked, "Did I miss anyone?"

Everyone: Then?

Khai: Then a girl approached her and said, "Ms Chen, you missed my name."

And my teacher said, "Oh, what's your name?"

And the girl said, "Beet-rice."

(Everyone laughs)

(A moment later)

Irfaanah: What's beet-rice?

Everyone: -.-

The saddest part of this is that it really is a true story. Imagine.

The poor girl being called beet-rice for her whole life.

Hahah.

Yellow stars.

2009-09-04T13:42:00.008+08:00

I'm tons better now!
Hahah. It's something to be happy about.

The movies that I really can't wait to watch are: Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, Jennifer's Body, Gamer...there's others but I can't remember them right now.

The movies I CAN wait to watch: New Moon. -.- It's going to suck; I know it.

Something really random: I discovered that you can tell how much sleep I get from my hair. Yes. My hair.
When it's really frizzy, despite putting on conditioners etc, normally it means that I didn't get enough sleep. I discovered that my hair's especially nice and shiny when I get loads of sleep-normally in the weekends. But because I'm sick right now, I'm getting more than enough sleep, and my hair's a whole lot nicer than usual.

Random much.

I just ditched playlist.com and got a new playlist.

And added about 100 plus of my songs which were in my old playlist into the new one- not all of them though.

I MISS MY OLD PLAYLIST.

New skin.

2009-09-03T19:44:00.002+08:00

I love it.
Changed my skin 'cos I've got nothing better to do; I'm supposed to be resting and gulping down two huge bottles of H2O right now.

'Can we fast forward to go down on me?'

2009-09-03T09:08:00.014+08:00

I'm currently having fever of 39.5 right now. However, I'm feeling so much better.

Yesterday was a horror. I think my fever was 40 plus degrees, and I was in school, thinking I was okay. I was practically freezing, and my teeth were constantly chattering. And everyone were saying that it was just a mildly cool day. To me, it was an ice age.

OMG I LOVE NEW PERSPECTIVE! I really love it. The tune and lyrics. It's not emo, it's not about breaking up, and it's about having a fresh start in life. And Brendon Urie's really cute. I'm so going to watch Jennifer's Body.

Okay, okay. I shall continue about yesterday. My mind can't really focus now.

I realised that I had a fever in the second period. Third period was Amath (free period 'cos she didn't come), and I thought I was okay enough to go scrub the fourth storey toilet with turpentine, along with Yi Jia, Sheryl and Amaliah. Guess what? We found out that everyone of us were having fevers! It was so coincidental man. I was joking feebly that we were all the Fever People-lame I know, but you must remember that my mind was all fuzzy.

I had the highest fever of all of them, I think. Everyone else were still able to function while I was trying my best to even stand up. Anyway, we were all joking around and scrubbing, and then it was recess.

We're now sitting at our formal sitting place near the excercise corner. That's great! Hahah, because I hate the crowd and noise and the lack of sunlight in the canteen. After recess was Malay, where little black dots (ew) kept swarming up my vision; I kept having little black outs.

Zahra was like, "Omg Hanisa, you're burning hot!"

And I replied,"Oh really? Thank you!"

Hahahah.

So I rested my head on the tiny 'table' connected to the chair. I was quite irritated at some of my Malay classmates. During legacy, my lips had already turned blood red (still is, btw). I'd forgotten what high fevers did to my physical self.

Went home with Isa, Zahra and Usshao. My back started hurting like mad and I joked that I was getting old and that I was having osteoporosis. Isa told me to shut up and said that it was not a joking matter. Hahahah! :D

I drifted in and out of a fevered sleep in 33, and I almost fainted in the Mrt after Isa left. I never experienced that sensation before. My ears blocked, and I felt as though the people around me were talking through a thick, bulletproof glass. My eyes burned and the black dots grew larger until they covered my whole eyes. I was temporarily blind. I shut my eyes and took deep breaths. It was horrible because I could already feel my body slanting downwards, and nausea was really strong at the moment. I started breaking out in cold sweat and my breathing was erratic. I was praying and praying to Allah that I wouldn't faint/puke/faint while puking/puke while fainting and cause a public scene.

This lasted until the train reached Tampines, and then Usshao called me to sit down, and then I felt better.

You know what? I still think that nausea is one of the worst sensations ever, despite almost fainting yesterday. I really think it is. It's worse than almost-fainting, heartburns, gastric, migraines, fevers, and everything else. Because your stomach would be flipping and your mouth would be tasting of bile and you'll be clamping your mouth, praying that you wouldn't cause a scene.

Thank Allah nothing happened.

When we reached Pasir Ris, I told Usshao that I was going to take a taxi, because I couldn't take it anymore. So I did. I called my grandma in the taxi, and the taxi driver, hearing my convo with her about me wanting to faint right there and then, was really, really nice. He talked to me in order to distract me, about his daughter who's the same age as me, and his son, who's in sec 5.

I really hope I didn't spread it to him, or to my family, Isa, Usshao, or Zahra, or anyone else.

When I reached home, my temperature had gone down to 39.2 degrees, thankfully. However, I was so weak and tears kept flowing down though I didn't feel like crying at all. Khai asked me whether I was okay, and told me to go and rest. I was so touched; she never ever did that, not when I had tonsillitis in kindergarten, nose bleeds in primary school, bad migraines, heartburns, cramps and etc. I guess I must have looked like a total wreck.

I broke my fast then (Did I tell you? Yesterday was the first day that I could fast) and went to sleep. Woke up after Maghrib and then my father brought me to the clinic.

The doctor said that my chest pains (which had been going on for about two to three months) were due to acid reflux, and that my blood pressure was really low, which was why I'd almost fainted. She said that my back aches were a symptom of my high fever, and that I was doing the wrongest thing in the MRT; I should have put my head between my knees no matter how obscene/embarrassing it looked in public, so that blood would be able to flow into my brain.

Then she gave me SEVEN days of MC. A pity next week's the hols already.

I was like, "But tomorrow's my Lit exam!"

"Skip it," she said without hesitation. "No going to school for you. You still have your finals right?"

"Tomorrow is my Lit finals."

"Oh really? Skip it, dear."

"But..."

"No."

She refused to let me go. Because I needed a lot of rest and etc. After all I'd studied!! I was really upset about it, and still am. I forgot to say that my Lit finals' today not yesterday. I got the dates wrong. -.-

She's a really nice doctor. :)

Anyway, though my fever's still high, I'm feeling a lot better now. Though I still can't maneuver properly and hold a pen without dropping it, and though I still can't lift a book. At least I still can type! Hahahah.

Thanks everyone who were concerned about me! :D

Whoa. Long post.

I'm currently drinking H20, the isotonic drink. It's a really good compromise, 'cos I really don't like drinking water. Never did. Oh well. :)

'Ta.

'Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive.'

2009-09-01T12:25:00.007+08:00

Can we fast forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it,
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face,
And I'll admire your expensive taste

-New Perspective, Panic! at the Disco

The turbulent wind is really strong now.
My hair whips at my face, and I close my eyes to savour the wild coolness
While the steel clouds gather and move at a rapid pace,
While the trees swagger with the force of the sea-blue wind.

And then,
I realise that my Lit FYEs' tomorrow, and I've to study.
The song stops playing
And I'm back to the cement reality.

A drop of rain spatters on the window pane.
I look up.
More drops start to fall.
The rain has come.

Teacher's Day 2009. And the reunion of the ex-Meridan-ers. Partially, at least.

2009-08-31T16:34:00.006+08:00

Teachers' Day today was pretty nice.
The best part of the whole concert was when Ms Ng and Arra (I think) sang.
It was so touching; I was like tearing up. It felt as though she was singing to our class when she sang the part about how we're still dear to her. And her voice's so beautiful.

Okay. Maybe I should do a quick time line. Minus the time.
First, I went up to the toilets to help scrape off stuff, but barely ten minutes later, we had to head down for morning assembly, and then we had to do the ACES day workout. Ruo Xi and I wanted to delay, so we went up, where I slowly changed to my pants, and when we went down, they hadn't even started yet. -.- So we sat at the back with Esther and Ernie and Esther and I played scissors paper stone, the slapping one where the winner would get to slap the loser's hands. Ouch. And guess who got slapped the most. Yes. You're right. Me.
It went something like this:

Us: Scissors, paper, stone!

-SLAP!-

Me: OWWWW ESTHER!!!! Again, again!

Esther: Fine!

Us: Scissors, paper, STONE!

-SLAP!-

Me: ESTHER!!!!! OW, OUCH!

I'm so going to have a rematch man.

Then it was the class party or whatever it was called, and we played Charades, and watched our friends sing. After that, I cam whored with Ruo Xi, and then went to Meridian with Amaliah. When we reached there, we were told that it would only be opened to us at 1.30 pm, like wth, so we went to West Plaza for a while to get thinner. We saw so, so many ex Malay classmates, and a whole bunch of people that we couldn't recognise.

I saw Eunice and didn't recognise her, along with Ming Rui and Shuo Li; and Amaliah and I had just walked past them. And then I turned around, and it was Eunice! Hahah. So I hugged her and apologised profusely for not recognising her. Then Amaliah decided to go home (thanks for pangsehing me ah. Hahah, just kidding!) and I was with Eunice. We then met up with Regina, and it seemed as though we'd met just yesterday. :) We (Regina, Eunice, Ming Rui and Ming Shuen) were then joined by Jia Qi, Jing Wen, Lai Sheng, Chu Bin, George and Shuo Li (the last two had disappeared somewhere) and then we went into the school. And explored it. I kept exclaiming at every single thing, hahah. And then we went into the staff room and saw Ms Yvonne Ng, Ms Jane Lim, and Mrs Sharon Goh. I miss them! And then we went to the 'playground' -coughcough- and the basketball court and the eco-garden, and etc etc. You get the picture. Everything seems so tiny now. Tiny staircases, miniature hall, small parade square.

Then, Eunice dragged me off to pick up Stanton, because he wore slippers and it was apparently the wrong attire. We were supposed to wear sneakers, so the security guards didn't let him in. -.-
Stanton looks seriously, dramatically different! I couldn't recognise him at first, but wait, I couldn't recognise practically anyone at first. Hahah.
However, the security guards shooed us OUT of our ex school, claiming that visitation hours were over. I was so annoyed; Khairunnisa was in school waiting for me. And everyone else were in there.
In the end, they came out but I was being too distraught over the unknown whereabouts of my sister to really pay attention to anything. And I was too preoccupied in begging Reuben (Khai's classmate and Regina's brother) to help find Khai (he simply refused to)- I'd even tried bribing him with a popsicle.
I guess it would have been a whole lot more fun if I didn't have to worry about Khai's whereabouts.

If only Khairiyana didn't have to be released so late. Then, we could have met and could have had time to catch up with stuff. Sigh. We really should meet up one day.

Well. I'm home now. And my feet are killing me. And I'm exhausted from all the exclamations I had made over all the stuff in Meridian, and etc.
And I'm stuck to Future Love by Kristinia Debarge and, unfortunately, Party In The USA keeps playing in my head. Ugh.
I'm in love with New Perspective by Panic! at the Disco. Brendon Urie's cute too.
And I am still in love with The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore.

Sleep. I need sleep. Maybe a cup of coffee too.

'Ta.

Surprise me.

2009-08-30T15:34:00.002+08:00

I'm so sleepy right now.
And I'm having a migraine. And my heartburn's back to torment me.
Ugh.

There's nothing much to say, except that my family and I went out and I got to look at bags. I think I'd get a haversack ( a red Adidas or Nike) or a handbag sort for next year.

Teacher's Day is tomorrow, got Ms Izrina, Ms Ng, Mr Peh and my tution teacher presents. Did I miss anyone?
I know for sure that I won't give my math teacher a present.

Irfaanah was so funny yesterday. Khai, Hidayah and I observed her scrutinising her nose in front of the mirror, and we were like, "What are you doing?"
She gave us a dejected look and said, "Oh, I have diggings in my nose and have to take it out."
HAHAH.

Life is so uneventful nowadays. I wish something nice would just pop out and surprise me.
Sigh.

'Ta.

Watching us fade, watching it all fall apart.

2009-08-29T12:45:00.002+08:00

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore. I really love that song.
It's good to have a diary, where I can write all my personal stuff in. It's good to have a blog too, to write all my superficial stuff.
Have I said that before?

Anyway, if I write about the skies, how the sun is reflecting off my hand, my musings on how water can be felt, but at the same time, can't be felt, the depths of what I am feeling right now, no one would listen.

I miss the simplicity of two years ago, when I did not care how anyone thought about me when I wondered about different things out loud, and shrugged off people's awkward 'err'-s.
Yeah. I'm a dreamer. A day dreamer. An utter blur-block.
I might think differently, appreciate different things in a deeper way than others.
Like the simplicity in life, which is so overlooked. Like treasuring all the nice moments with friends. Like seeing sunrise at the bus stop in the morning.
Like laughing with my sisters. Joking with my parents. Discussing dreams and nightmares.
Feeling the wind blow all my insecurities away.

People say they know me. People exclaim, "Oh, Hanisa! That is soo you!" Or talk about how innocent I am.

But do they really know me?

Maybe they do. My superficial, flippant side anyway.
If I shed my skin, would they know me?

Some of my friends know me a lot more than other friends, which is why I love them so much, and tell them stuff I don't tell other people. (Like the benefits of bus stops in the mornings. Hahah.) :)
Others, well.

You want an excerpt of my diary? This isn't one of them. But this could be a skim of what I write in it. Albeit other things of course.

Okay. Enough of myself.
'Ta. :)

It's not as sweet as.

2009-08-29T10:42:00.014+08:00

Credits to Amaliah :)
I'd adjusted the contrast a little.

On Thursday, my teammates (Pei Hua, Ruo Xi, Risa, Yi Jia, Sheryl, Amaliah; Lin Hui had band, and did I miss anyone?) and I painted the toilet and Pei Hua and I had to leave early 'cos we had Amath tuition (she's in the same tuiton as me!). I somehow managed to throw paint at myself, resulting in the destruction of my blouse and my pinafore. And what's more, it was red paint. And it was thrown at my front. I looked as though I'd been stabbed. Sheryl got paint on her uniform too. We all had loads of fun, taking silly videos of each other. I also got paint on MY HAIR. It was inevitable; we had to use turpentine on both my hair and uniform. Thanks Yi Jia and Risa, for trying to remove the paint stains on my hair and uniform. :) Risa was like, "Hahah, what a place to get paint on yourself!" Hahah.

Pei Hua was so, extremely funny throughout the journey to tuition, tuition, and after tuition. I'd kept moaning about how I thought I smelled like turpentine.

Pei Hua was like, "Where got?! I can't smell anything!"

Then later, I was like, "Pei Hua....turpentine!"

"Aaaah, Hanisaaa!"

Fine. Maybe I didn't smell of turpentine. Hahahah.

Tuition was seriously funny, but I shan't elaborate.

Then, after tuition, I'd really needed to go to the toilet, so I dashed into the toilet, into the cubicle, closed the door, when:

Pei Hua: Hanisa, you're in the boy's toilet!

Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHH! -dashes out of the cubicle-

Pei Hua: (snickering) Just kidding lah!

On Friday, which was yesterday, we got into huge trouble, and had to remove the paint in the toilet. Won't elaborate.
But we really had loads of fun, singing off-key to the songs in my handphone while using scrappers, thinner, and rags to remove the paint that got on the floor and door hinges, and cubicle door.
Went to Emath tuition with Pei Hua after that. We were seriously exhausted.

Haven't went home with Isa for ages. But talking to her at the place near the staircase was really nice. The view too. :)
Thanks for comforting me with your uproarious linking-ups on events! Hahah.
Haven't went home with Zag for ages too.
And Lit FYE's next Wednesday.
Sigh.
Saw him yesterday.
Sigh.

Think that's it for now.
'Ta.

2009-08-26T18:17:00.002+08:00

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small

I've been drawing the line and watching it fall

You've been closing me in,

Closing the space in my heart

Watching us fading and watching it fall apart

-The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore, James Morrison

My new addiction to the old song.

The ninth day.

2009-08-26T17:22:00.007+08:00

My cousin's new name.

Brenda, covering her face, and Hijanah. Ten's at the extreme left but her hand's only visible.

Ten.

Ohmygosh I'm so exhausted now.

Lit FYE is next week. Yes. The finals.

I feel so weird today. Even Isa commented about it: "Why're you behaving so eccentrically today ah?"

Went home with her today. :)

She found me at the fourth storey toilet with Risa and Pei Hua, packing up (after we painted the door with Sheryl and Amaliah and camwhored with them.)

That nutter brought me all the way to the 33 bus stop, and after seeing that it was full, she brought me all the way back to the 31 & 10 bus stop. Then we talked, talked and laughed. Her teachers are fantastic man, so prone to mood swings and possessing the need to have anger management classes.

Nothing much happened today, except for the fact that we had three free periods- Amath, Geog, and Bio.

And I haven't seen him for days.

There's this song playing my head, a relentless whisper,

and I don't know its name.

I need to find out.

I think that's about it. I'm too sleepy.

'Ta.

Painting toilets. Yep. I'm serious, and it was serious fun too.

2009-08-26T17:11:00.003+08:00

Dusk. My favourite time of the day.

Ruo Xi and I. :)

I look so ugh. I AM SO NOT PHOTOGENIC, AAAH.

I think I'm like the stiffest person who'd ever walked in front of a camera. Sigh. What to do, what to do.

Ruo Xi, Lin Hui and Yi Jia.

Random.

Went for LDS yesterday (Zahra ponned). Before it started, I talked to Isa at the bus stop until 2.50 when her bus promptly arrived. Thanks for missing two 31s! Hahah. We were like laughing so much.

After that, I rushed to the fourth storey toilet to help my teammates paint the door. For our Legacy project. -.- Met Ruo Xi, who was painting it- it was almost fully painted already. I helped scrub the basins which were stained with paint. Ew. Hahah. Had no choice but to walk around in my shorts because I was deathly afraid of staining my pinafore with paint. Then Yi Jia and Lin Hui, who had gone to the shop to buy more paint, came back and then we went home after putting all the stuff back.

I went home with Ruo Xi and I laughed so much that I started crying, and my stomach hurt like mad. Hahahah. :)

Yeah. That's the extremely abridged version of the whole day.

Sunburst.

2009-08-24T17:38:00.002+08:00

I finally decided to create a photobucket account and add my photos there so that I could post it in blogger.
Used my handphone for these 'cos my digital cam's borrowed by my uncle.

Today-today-today; I think I'm developing a sore throat.

2009-08-24T16:16:00.004+08:00

Note to self: During Ramadan, I shall not eat or drink openly when I'm having my period.

Today, after school, I went home with Isa (finally!) and because it was such a rare occasion, we got bubble tea. Then, as I was drinking it with her at the bus stop, a bunch of guys appeared and starting talking loudly in Malay.

"Why isn't she fasting ah?"

"She's not Malay so she don't need to fast lah you bodoh."

"!@#%%^&!!! Thought she was Malay."

Wow. I didn't know that could garner such a dynamic response.

It never occurred to them that I was having my period. -.-"

And, no, you don't have to be a Malay to fast, because fasting is for Muslims, not Malays. Sigh. How ignorant of them. But I was ignorant for eating in front of them, so I apologise.

Hahah. Anyway, Isa and I talked and wondered and exclaimed at stuff and then her water bottle leaked in her bag and her books got wet. Poor thing. Okay, Isa. I shall correct myself. Poor human. Hahahah.

In the morning we had PE and had to do the Aces Day Kickboxing Workout again, along with some sec ones and twos. I was laughing like mad with Aqilah at Pei Hua's expressions at Ruo Xi's retelling of Where Got Ghost, and then laughed at Rachel's enthusiastic 'OI! OI!' every time the coach told us to do stuff. She was doing it intentionally.

Oh, and this time, instead of saying 'Hai-yah!' we were supposed to say 'UGH!' Sounds as if we're having constipation.

Mrs Tee is back to teach us Chem for two days. The whole class was laughing and saying, "The ghost came back- it's the Hungry Ghost Festival!" Hahah, lame lah.

I lovelovelove Never Leave You, Tinchy Stryder feat Amelle. I know it'll be in the charts real soon. Love it.

Okay, I think that's it.

Goodbye.

'Ta.

Blogging during Malay. Awesome.

2009-08-24T12:57:00.003+08:00

Yeah, blogging during Malay now. Cikgu Alena wanted us to add her in facebook.

My phone started beeping during Geog class. It was Starhub. Advertising their promotions. -.- So anti-climax. Luckily the teacher pretended not to notice.

I miss being a sec one. Okay random.
Gotta scoot.
'Ta.

When the moon shines.

2009-08-23T14:33:00.001+08:00

HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIMS!

I. Can't. Fast.
And I am so annoyed about that.
Yesterday, which was the first day of Ramadan, was spent feeling fatigued and unusually hungry. And in the end, after break-fast, I realised that I couldn't fast. Ugh. Next time, when the symptoms show, I should pay attention to them. For example, normally when I'm fasting, I:

1. Do not feel hungry.
2. Do not feel so fatigued that I feel like I'm dying.

So yeah. I should check out the symptoms next time. I feel so awful- that I'm missing fasting right from the beginning.

And, my playlist is not working!
After a year's accumulation of songs and memories, it stops working 'cos of some restrictions!
Sighh. I guess it's time to move on in life. -.-

Okay, okay. Happier stuff.

My mother was packing her wardrobe today, and my sisters decided to play dress up (again) with her clothes, and my father's.
Hidayah and Khairunnisa morphed into the Big Boss and Manager respectively.

Khairunnisa: 'Hidayah, why are you the Big Boss when I'm taller than you?'

Hidayah: -glowering silence-

And then, Hidayah gained Spiritual Enlightenment (after putting on my father's religious clothes) and decided to demote Khairunnisa.

Hahahah.

On Friday, I had tuition, so before it, I accompanied Ruo Xi to Parkway (or at least, I tried to), but after we got our bubble teas, I realised that I was ten minutes late for tuition and had to scoot. Sighh.
But it was fun, getting bubble teas and walking through Roxy Square.

My dreams have been leaving me lost, mystified and confused lately. What do they mean? Smiling people, lost adventures, forgotten loves...
And Already Gone haunts me. It keeps playing in my head.

Okay.
I guess that's it for now.
'Ta.

We were always meant to say goodbye

2009-08-20T18:58:00.005+08:00

I really love that part of Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson.
Omg, I am so happy with my English marks!
It kinda makes up for my stupid math.

Today was okay I think. I almost died of humiliation during the PE ACES Day Workout. Mimicking kickboxing? Shouting, 'Hai-yah!' ? It did not work for me. Talked to Ruo Xi about loads of stuff, and then Isa during recess.
I really must catch up with Isa. We haven't gone in the bus together after school for ages.

During Malay, Zag and I could not stop laughing. We laughed at all the lamest stuff. She warned me not to have a crush on my future brother-in-law (Jay Sean) 'cos she's definitely gonna marry him. My feelings for him are purely sisterly, okay? HAHAH.

Went with Pei Hua and Yi Ting to tuition today, and wondered about the names which my uncle and aunt are considering for the baby. I miss them.

Today, I was gazing at the waxing twilight sky, and I realised that I haven't stopped to appreciate its beauty for a long time. I'd been hurrying everywhere for most of the year. I miss those easy times where I could just stop abruptly and admire something or another. Now- there's just no time. Sigh.

Bus ride back home in 12 was the ultimate horror. I had to endure a man who was purposely airing out his armpits in full public. My head was between his arms. ._.
Ewww. I sort of pushed him in annoyance. After about ten minutes or so.

He deserved it. Because he was doing it purposely to irk me. And then I moved forward.

Hahah.
That's all for now I think.
'Ta.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANGA!

2009-08-19T15:34:00.004+08:00

Omg, I can't believe that you're fifteen while I'm still stuck at 14!

Happy Birthday, man :)

I think I'm going to give you a belated birthday present 'cos I'm broke now. So sorry! Hahah.

It's been THREE years!

Thanks for being a great, hilarious friend.

Your goofy, happy jokes and witticisms never fail to cheer me up.

Have a happy fifteen! Hope you enjoy your birthday cake! Hahah.

Hope you'll never ever have a crush on the PM. Believe me, it's going to be hard if you do. Be sure to count on me to object strongly to that.

HAHAH.

Tuesday-MY NEW COUSIN

2009-08-19T11:30:00.016+08:00

I have, I have
A NEW COUSIN.
!!!!!!

How cool is that?
She's like going to be my sister or something 'cos we are going to live in the same house.
Cam-whored with her after LDS yesterday; I'd took a taxi from Kembangan MRT station to the hospital.
Unfortunately, I can't upload them. You know. The whole blogger issue.

Okay, I shall start from the beginning.

My dear cousin who is yet to be named was given birth on the 18th of August 2009, at 1 am.
I had to go to school because of the Bio test (which I flunked) and the LDS debate. Ugh.
Isa didn't come because she was ill. Get well soon, man.

You know, I was so happy yesterday because of the birth of my cousin that I'd managed to smile THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MATH LESSON. See how happy I was?

Chemistry yesterday was hilarious. We were supposed to swirl our solution and add the indicator into it, and wait until it turns pink. We were supposed to do it in pairs, so Faizah and I alternated between holding the data logger and swirling the solution.
After about thirty minutes of dreaded boredom, I happened to glance at the PH graph in the datalogger.

"Eh, Faizah, the PH is rising! I think it'll turn pink anytime soon." (Me)

"What? OMG, OMG, OMG! After all our hard work...I feel like crying!!!" (Faizah)

"Um...Don't get emotional ah." (Me)

She was literally tearing up! Hahahahah. Then, when I saw the solution turn pink:

"Faizah!!" (Me)

"OMG! We gave birth to pink!" (Faizah)

HAHAHAHAH. So funny.

Anyway, congrats Faizah! Not about this, about the thing you told me about. :) Hahah.

And then during Bio, Mr Peh was like, "Whoever wants to see a model experiment, go to Atikah's table. Whoever wants to see abstract art, go to Hanisa's table." -.- Hahah. I'm always screwing up lah.

Then, after school, ate at the roti prata shop with Zag, and then headed to the bubble tea shop for bubble tea (duh). It was packed, so we tried out the new bubble tea shop. It's quite nice.
However, someone collided into Zag, and her bubble tea exploded on the floor. Sigh.
In LDS I was the fourth speaker, and had to do the debate inpromptu. I was so relieved that I didn't screw up as badly as I thought I would.

In 33 with Zag, listened to Down again. I love that song. Then laughed about the PM. And etc.

And, after that, I went to see the baby. :)

Left the hospital at about 10 pm.

I LOVE Never Leave You, Tinchy Stryder feat Amelle, and One Time, Justin Bieber. And some other songs which names are yet known.

Gotta go now.
'Ta.

The imploded supernova.

2009-08-17T15:44:00.013+08:00

Yeah, I know. I haven't posted for ages. What is it? Five days? Six? Oh well.

I'm currently stuck on One Time by Justin Bieber. Love it. And Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson keeps playing in my head for some reason.

The weekends were a blast. I wanted to study for my Bio test (which is tomorrow, by the way), but there were so many things to do, and there was so little time.

On Saturday, I wanted to study-but my migraine wasn't making it any easier for me. So, I sort of slept for the whole afternoon. When I woke up, it was four plus and I needed to get an IC photo. And my mother wanted us to get baju kurungs for Aidilfitri as a back up plan. So, we headed to Tampines, where I had to take nine shots of myself because of the photographer's lack of skill, and the end product was an extremely bleached-looking photo of myself. I looked like a vampire. It was around dinner time, so we popped into Macdonald's for a burger.

We, um, sort of gatecrashed into a birthday party. I mean, we were allowed to eat there and all, but it seemed like we were gatecrashing. The whole room was filled with gossiping adults with three children in oversized cardboard hats running around trying to burst their balloons. In the smallest corner possible, there was a tiny sign with the words, 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, P. THANUSHRI!' printed on in an uninspiring black colour.

Oooh, so it was a children's birthday party. Filled with adults listening to tunes of Old Macdonald's, Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars, Mary Had A Little Lamb, It's A Small World, and etcetera. You get the picture. As a casual third party observer with no interest in this whatsoever, I was highly amused. It seemed as though the adults were the ones having the party, albeit the nursery songs. During the cutting of the cake, an adult hauled a miserable looking boy and then it was photo time. It was hilarious. The poor boy.

Then we left and went to Geylang. We approached this shop, and the first thing that greeted our eyes were zebra-striped orange baju kurungs. Seriously. My sisters and I were like, "OH MY GAWD!!!" And we shouted it together! It was such a jinx-moment. The people in that shop all swiveled around to stare at us, and some started laughing at our expressions of utter revulsion. We then got our baju kurungs.

On Sunday, which was supposed to be my study day, I had to take my IC photo again, and so, I had to follow my grandma along with Hidayah to my aunt's parents' house. Um. Awkward. I loved her cookies though. :) After that, we went to our father's office (for the first time) and then we went to the studio to take my IC photo, and then we went to Pasir Ris to meet my mother, Khai and Irfaanah, and then we went to our relatives' house.

So as a summary of my boring life, I'd a jam-packed weekend, with a birthday party as a form of entertainment.
And I haven't seen him for days.
And I saw my ex-classmate today.
And my migraine hasn't disappeared yet.
And recess with Isa today was really interesting; we were talking about the benefits of Chinese Tuition.
And Malay was funny; Zahra and I were wondering what it would be like if we had a crush on the prime minister. Then we laughed like mad.

'Look at Jay Sean, and then to stop all my feelings, all I've to do is look at the Prime Minister. Ew, such a turn off man.' (Zahra)
'Imagine me telling my mother that: "Eh, mummy, that's your potential son-in-law!" ' (Me)

-we burst into fits of laughter-

Hahahah.

And, omg, I forgot to mention- MY AUNT'S GONNA GIVE BIRTH TODAY! It's like, confirmed. :D

So, yeah. That's all I guess.
'Ta.

9th of August, and the days after.

2009-08-13T11:25:00.006+08:00

Happy Belated 44th, Singapore!

My family and I showed our ardent patriotism by converting the holiday into a massive spring cleaning. Khairunnisa and Hidayah had a dress up session to kill time. They plastered princess stickers all over their faces, swathed themselves with keychains which they'd pretended to be earrings and bangles, wore stuffed toys and miniature wallets they'd found mouldering away as necklaces, put on goggles to make a new fashion statement, more hats, real bangles, magnet earrings, and they'd somehow managed to find space in their assemble to squeeze in a Singapore flag or two. Then, they decided to parade around, leaving Irfaanah and I shrieking with laughter.

"You always told us to dress up right?" Hidayah told my dumbstruck grandma. "We are following your orders!"
For those who don't know, my sisters are being constantly harangued by parents (particularly my father) and grandma alike about the phenomenon of their un-girlish dress sense.

One can note the stark contrast between my family and I. While they had displayed their profound patriotism by gluing their eyes to the screen during the NDP show, and while Hidayah flailed around with her flag(s) in her eccentric clothing, I sat around reading White Man Falling and pestered my family with questions like, "When on earth would Singapore Idol start?"

It's not that I don't love Singapore. I do, it's flaws and all. It's just that I wasn't in a particularly patriotic mood. I did feel indignant when they'd converted some of Singapore's National Day songs into horrible choir renditions. And I did feel a little regret when the show was over though. Anyway, Singapore Idol was really funny.

It's going to be a long post. I warn you. It's to make up for the days I didn't blog.

I lovelovelove Down, Jay Sean and Almost Lover, A Fine Frenzy and Say It Again, Marie Digby.

My hair, being curly and all, would turn rebellious and poofy when I comb it. During one of the horror sessions where I'd dragged my comb down and marched to the kitchen to untangle a knot, my maid looked at me pityingly and said in Malay, "Have you considered rebonding your hair?"

So I glowered at her and told her no. Even though my hair can be rebellious and poofy sometimes, it can also be quite okay looking. I love my hair despite all its flaws. Though I can't find a suitable style for it. It just has a... personality.
Lol.

Speaking about poofy hair...He does not have poofy hair!-glowers at Isa-
Hahahah.

The good thing about writing in a diary is that you can save all your superficial stuff for your blog. See? I'm talking about my hair for God's sake.

On Monday, my father declared that all our jeans were figure-hugging and indecent looking, much to our bewilderment. I was trying my best not to laugh, what with Khai muttering, "Then get us inflatable pants lah," while glaring at him. He dropped the matter later on. We went to watch Up, and I think it's the best Pixar movie ever. It was so heart warming and hilarious, and I love that adorable dog. I loved it. I want to watch it again.

On Tuesday, one of our form teachers (The new one. I don't know her name.) started handing out green booking slips to everyone. And surprise, surprise, I got one too. I was like "HUH?! I didn't do anything!" Even the booking slip supported me; not one of the offenses listed in it had been ticked. The prefect had just hastily circled the heading 'MISCONDUCT'. I think the school's bent on booking everyone or something. The school's become stricter too. It feels like a sort of prison sometimes. We will be booked for every teensy offense. And we will have to attend counselling if we get a white booking slip. -.-

Yesterday, which was Wednesday, I had tuition, and had lunch with Isa, whereby she proclaimed that he had poofy hair, after seeing him for the third time. At first, she'd described it as spiky, and I was like, "Spiky??!!!!" So she changed it to poofy, which was worse, really. I was laughing like mad.

My uncle and aunt has moved to my aunt's house temporarily 'cos she could deliver any time soon. I kind of miss my uncle. I miss the bus rides to the interchange with him everyday. And the silent, comfortable companionship; We'd both be listening to the radio. Sigh.

I have tuition today.
And I didn't go to school today too. 'Cos I'm having a stupid migraine. And breathlessness. And nausea.

Okay. Gotta go now.
'Ta.

You took something perfect, and painted it red.

2009-08-07T16:01:00.009+08:00

I love the song Red by Daniel Merriweather. And I love Down by Jay Sean.

Kind of reflects my mood.

Today was the National Day celebration. 3E2'S BAND ROCKED!! Faustina, Faizah, The Twins, Amanda, and Yi Ting were AWESOME!!! Um. Did I miss anyone? I hope not. Hahah.

Usshao didn't come today- the whole gang (Zag, Sanga, and Usshao) ponned. Should call them the Three Musketeers lah. So, yeah-my morning journey from the bus onwards was very...awkward. In a nice and terrifying way.

Met Ruo Xi in the morning outside of the school, went to the toilet for a while, and then headed to the courtyard for assembly. In the hall, we sat with Paige, Pei Hua and Elizabeth. Cam-whored during all the boring moments, laughed like mad with Paige and during the singing of National Day songs part, Pei Hua and I sang along.

Saw Lopz DANCE. Seriously!

A pity I can't upload the pics in blogger.

After school, got bubble tea with Isa before tuition. :)

Talked about stuff (it's always stuff. What else could it be?)- and then, the lights collapsed right beside us. We were so lucky; we could have been dead, fried lobsters. We went out of the shop immediately, obviously.

Persuaded Isa to take pictures with me. It's like asking her to rip her nails off or something, I swear. Hahah.

Went off to tuition, after getting lost for a while.

Yes-my Amath and Math tuition have started. Amath tuition was yesterday, AND I'D UNDERSTOOD. There were two people there who were really funny too; I'd to bite my lips really really hard in order not to laugh. The rest of the people there were, like, dead or something.

Emath tuition today was okay too. Yi Ting's in the same tuition as me! Got a huge surprise when she opened the door. Hahah. The teacher told us to look out for something really cool. 123456789.

See, today at 12.34 pm, 56 seconds, at this day, date and year, the numbers go 123456789.

Zahra's SMS yesterday got me thinking real hard.

I don't know. Emotions continue to bewilder me.

Confused? Very.

Upset? A little.

Contemplating? Really, really deeply.

Wondering? Yes.

Well, anyway, thanks for telling me, Zag.

I'd always known, somehow, that I'd fall for the bad- boy type. Didn't see the extent of it though.

Didn't see it coming.

And I can't do this by myself,

All of these problems,

They're all in your head

And I can't be somebody else

You took something perfect,

And painted it red

-Red

My appetite's still haywire. I still feel like puking when I look at food.

"I don't have issues; I've a subscription."

2009-08-04T17:59:00.004+08:00

Today was okay.

Math was manageable; I'd actually learnt something. Spent five minutes wondering what on earth the teacher was talking about- she kept using the word tootening- and I'd thought that she was either using a new mathematical phrase, or was so exasperated that she'd come up with her own vulgar word.

Like, she kept going on, "Use the tootening lines!!" Asked Brenda and Alethea what it was but to no avail, and then finally asked her. The word was 'two- turning'. -.- Obviously, we laughed like crazy.

Then Zag and I were fifteen minutes late for LDS (I's expected to be 45 minutes late, so I was relieved). We had planned our excuse really well - Apparently, Zag had lost her wallet and we had been frantically searching for it. Convincing, but it turned out that we didn't even need to fib. The teacher just shrugged our lateness off.

I saw my primary schoolmate Anna! :)

During LDS, Zahra was so bored that she played with my hair. First, my hair was like food to her, and now it's a toy. Hahahah. Salwa, Zag and I kept laughing about stuff (lame, not lame, and etc.)

Isa and Usshao had some Amath remedial or something that ended at 4.30, so the four of us went home together. It was really fun! Hahah. Laughed loads in the bus stop and the bus.

My appetite's been really off nowadays and I honestly don't know why. No, it's not because I'm on a diet. Every time I look at food, I would feel like puking. I wonder why, but I bet that I'll be ravenous next week.

Well, that's mostly it. (;

Hahah.

'Ta.

Alas-

2009-08-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

My dear sisters have discovered the wonders of nail polish.